never. put faith. in a fecking race. again.

exactly what it says on the title.

how delusional i am to think i can get 500 mb more a month for the next four months just by running. my leg still hurts from my muscle pull so long back, i can't run at all, my stamina is shit.

that was delusional of me, and i should have gone for maths just like i said i would. what's $60 to me anyway?

all that sadness, all that frustration, only to be named second last.

i ran, stopped, walked, cried, for nothing.

it was delusional.

and i shouldn't have done it.

what the hell was i thinking...

and what kind of a question is "can you run later?"

let's see the prospects of either answer.

"yes i can" = more pain and suffering on my side = my inability to run = team loses epicly

"no i can't" = no pressure = team comes after my blood = my inability to run = team loses epicly

As Long As You're Mine

ELPHABA
Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreamings
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me

And just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some border line
And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

FIYERO
Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell

BOTH
Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time

FIYERO
Say there's no future
For us as a pair

BOTH
And though I may know
I don't care
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine

FIYERO
(spoken)
What is it?

ELPHABA
(spoken)
It's just, for the first time,
I feel... wicked

(squee, this song's been stuck in my head for a while, next to no good deed.)

incoherent post

THERE EXISTS A CUBIC FORMULA :D

W3ANIME HITLIST:

- Azumanga Daioh

- Code Geass/R2

- Black Lagoon

- Darker Than Black

- Gokusen

- Noir

- Rozen Maiden/Traumend/Ouverture

- Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei/Zoku

- Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu

- Lucky Star

I'm going for a music theatre workshop in mid-March! It make VCA application look nice nice :3 and I want to meet the woman from the Opera division in Trinity College's conservatory again. I think it'd be cool to have a sensei in voice too. XD

I can has three octaves soon ^^. I tried to sing Phantom of the Opera, and I could do both Christine's and Phantom's parts, up till the second last note. The last note, I have issues with. On the bright side, the back of my head doesn't hurt anymore when I attempt the C two octaves above middle C. :D (And last year it pulled like mad when I tried to do Angels by Within Temptation. I can do that now, but it isn't as strong as Miss den Andel's, of course.)

NEW GOALS FOR THE YEAR:

- heal right leg (what kind of a goal is this... but I want it to happen lah.)

- complete >3 octaves. (beyond is wonderful)

- increase strength

- learn belts

- finish splits (left, right, middle. in that order perhaps, so the right leg can heal first.)

- VCA music theatre!

- whistle register/vocal fry

- college musical

- pectoral muscles XD

- opera division sensei

- horizontal bar (>3 rounds)

ore-sama has made it to the 65th class of the 78 english for academic purpose classes (ie. 13th best class, if the rumours about classes are true. which will not be good because it will mean she has lost to あの人 by one class.)

Today someone I didn't know came up to me and told me she really liked my Nodame bag, and that she'd actually pay for such a bag. I told her it wasn't that hard, really, and that I didn't really try hard (if I did I'd pull an all-nighter, and I know this because I remember the times I stayed up doing my best to remember certain things in certain books). She told me that perhaps I could make money doing this (I'm not good at business, anyhow, but that was a serious compliment imo). For a brief moment, I felt special.

I know quite a few people have told me my Nodame bag was nice, and I know it is, because I created it out of a Borders bag, and it's one of the few things I can say I did all by myself without anyone telling me exactly how to do it (beyond the fact that I took a couple of reference pictures and that someone on dA gave me the idea of using masking tape to cover the accidentals).

For so long I've done my best with my white fabric paint, my hairdryer and my permanent marker, to cover every microscopic detail, to remove every last trace of lint (there's still some stuck under the paint), to make every line that defines the keys as straight as human hands can get them, and yet every time I'm never satisfied.

But for now, just for this moment... I'll sit and smile up at my bag. For all its shortcomings, all its painted-over lint that I'll never be able to remove, for my unstable hands and the tiny marker smudges on the sides of the keys, for the obvious texture discrepancies. For this is my bag, no one else's. And I made it, all by myself.

Today there was a man from the Socialist Alternative association who tried to convert me to socialism by listing all the shortcomings of capitalism, how it made the rich richer and the poor poorer, how it oppressed cultures.

I gave him my best Kafuka Fuura face.

I stared into his eyes, and gave him my honest opinion as a member of a country known by everyone but its own people as an extremely repressive state. After what seemed like fifteen minutes of his sincere staring into my eyes, and mine into his, and our carrying of a surprisingly intelligent conversation about the state of the world today, he gave in, for he couldn't bring me to understand his side of the story at all. (He definitely isn't going to give up his socialist and communist views though. "It seems socialism is not for you," he told me.) Though I did appreciate his alternative viewpoint, and I told him so.

The newsletter I bought from him, filled with hopes and dreams for a socialist/communist world, sits on my table, and I haven't gone beyond the second page yet. Communism seems like a perfect method of governance to children, perhaps, until one realises that the system is meant to govern humans. In a robocracy perhaps it would work, because robots cannot feel. But in the human world, humans feel greed. They feel the desire to be better than others, they feel envy and jealousy, and it is for this reason that human beings cannot be absolutely equal, and that communism cannot function properly. I didn't tell him that, though I did tell him, that if the world was completely under one form of government, the world would be extremely boring, and that people in different countries are governed differently because they behave differently.

mmmmmmmm too much thinking. Sleepytime.

so if you care to find me, look to the western sky

And now, Naomi, you know where to meet me.

Before that, of course, I'll widen my range, since I want to reach four complete octaves by the time I'm over with university. And of course my strength needs work. I don't think dragging's a problem, but I'll improve on that too. And I most definitely need help with belting. (Yes Mr Sng, I never did manage to forget that you called me "small" when I was fourteen.)

The dresses are awesome, and the cape is pretty ^_____^ I think it'll definitely be fun to do this with Naomi, from What Is This Feeling (loathing, unadulterated loathing) through to For Good (that song makes me want to cry TwT). Defying Gravity will be major love, and I think I'll have to stop myself from laughing during Popular.

I wonder what it's like to catfight with Naomi. XD

(On a side note, makeup's going to take forever.)

An Inconvenient Man (an intellectual post.)

I'm completely sold now, on the idea that global warming isn't caused by human beings.

As history dictates and fiction mirrors, leaders (both good and bad) exert their influence on people, thereby bonding them with a common vision and mission. Very often this also involves giving the people under them a common enemy.

Barack Obama leads by extolling change, thus for the Americans, the common enemy is the previous administration.

Adolf Hitler, famed now for his mass extermination of European Jews, had a strong and united Germany, willing to live and die for the Third Reich.

The Archbishop, leader of the Christian world, unites the Christians in not only exalting and serving God, but also in deriding Satan and his ways.

For those who read Wicked, the Wizard of Oz used Animals (and later, Elphaba) as the common enemy, and as such he controlled the Ozians well.

And for High School Musical fans, Troy led the East High Wildcats to victory by giving them the West High Knights as a common enemy.

As one can see, leaders everywhere need common enemies (read: WAR ON TERROR).

And so does Al Gore.

Al Gore's leadership is a unique one. Like the examples here, his leadership does indeed have a common enemy - ourselves.

And as such, the villain of this story never goes away. It never disappears, and it can never be vanquished. Hitler may have, if he was extremely zealous and got many more people and much more technology in on it, actually removed completely the Jews of Europe. Obama may end up completely revolutionising the American ways of government. Wildcats might crush the Knights into the ground, never for them to rise once more. Elphaba died. And one day, maybe the works of Satan may be annihilated in the presence of God.

But for the leadership of Gore, the common enemy will never perish. For any and every organism on this planet that lives and breathes is an enemy. Anything that can respire (CO2), that can fart (CH4), burp, pee, shit, and/or decompose, they are all enemies.

That includes youuuuuu, Mister Polar Bear. Stop clinging to your summer iceberg and drown yourself now, you don't deserve to live.

That also includes youuuuu, Mister Tree. That's right, when you decompose you release greenhouse gases into the air too. I'd ask you not to die, but your leaves fall and those decompose anyway.

Don't even get me started on our basic needs. If I were to follow this climate change shebang completely, I would curse the day Thomas Alva Edison gave us the gift of the incandescent lightbulb. Why didn't he make it environmentally friendly? Why did he make it at all? Look at the disgusting mess it's put us in! I would sleep at night without air conditioning (CHLOROFLUOROCARBONS OHNOES!), or even a fan (FOSSIL FUELS, PEOPLE. FOSSIL FUELS!), and I would kena mosquito bites all over my body, not that I don't already have them. I would go to school and use a quill pen (markers are made in factories, which burn fossil fuels, and so are ballpoint pens, gel pens, and pencils, and most other stationery), I would use ink (As if it wasn't inconvenient enough, OH HEAVENS NO, making ancient India Ink means burning tar! Think of the greenhouse gases!), and I would write on papyrus. And what are Twisties and nachos and potato chips? Come to think of it, I'd have died of hunger by then, because you can't so much as light a fire without carbon dioxide going into the air.

I won't even bother continuing on that.

In any case, there's evidence it's not our fault.

Solar activity is at a high now. Models created to predict climate on our planet from the sun’s activity show that the planet will continue to cool over the next 500 years with sporadic periods of warming. In addition, the sun has shown very few sunspots so far this year and the Earth’s northern hemisphere recorded record cold and frozen precipitation.

For people who didn't bother to read that...

WE'RE COOLING DOWN.

Further proof... the Antarctic ice caps are growing, so you don't have to worry about the sea level rising and destroying the world. Just look at this.

Also, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Neptune's moon, and Pluto have all been experiencing signs of global warming, none of which have been set foot on (defiled?) by human presence. And if they're having global warming, then we're really not the issue here, are we?

And what are carbon credits for anyway? They look more like a feel-good mechanism to me, there doesn't seem to be a place for all that money you're giving away to go to, other than into pockets of guilt trippers of course. 

Now I'm not going to deride environmentalists and call them stupid or misguided or anything. They're very free to believe that the world is in great epic danger, and that we're going to all die, and it's all our fault (and theirs too, no matter how hard they try). I'm not going to be defeatist and tell everyone that there's no point saving energy by buying eco-bags, or using energy-efficient light-bulbs and air-conditioners, or taking three-minute cold showers, or recycling waste, or never ever using plastic bags, since we're still breathing, farting, burping, passing biological waste, and hence are still an issue. I'm not going to tell people that they should kill themselves to decrease the world population for the greater good of retarding climate change.

I'm going to not care, because there's enough proof out there for me to say global warming isn't really my fault (3-5% perhaps, if you want to be anal, but seriously). If I save the environment over the course of my life, like by buying a Borders bag or that disgustingly expensive Anya Hindmarch bag that says "I'm not a Plastic Bag" (how irritating), I most probably won't be doing it consciously, and if it makes my environmentalist acquaintances happy, good for them.

And a final note before I finish this... the environmentalists may be following their plans to save the world, but their leader sure isn't.

The first and second days of school were painful and boring for the most part.

But thank goodness the intro lecture by Sarah Palin (I shall be calling the Psychology professor that from now on - except for the hair they could be twins) was good.

I shall be wanting to take the following subjects...

ENGLISH

- LITERATURE

- DRAMA

- ENGLISH FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES

HISTORY OF IDEAS (ADVANCED)

PSYCHOLOGY

MATHS 1

MEDIA AND COMMUNICATIONS.

Ohyes. ^^

Still not inspired to take pictures of my pad. Oh well ^_____^

No good deed goes unpunished

It's one more day of happiness and freedom, and the sun is setting on this one more day.

Today I watched Wicked.

The performance of No One Mourns The Wicked nearly made me cry, and I have officially begun fangirling over Fiyero. ("He's distant and moodified, and he's been thinking, which really worries me." - Glinda on Fiyero)

I now understand so much more why Mr Sng opposes so vehemently against the hole that drama of Singapore is in.

It discouraged me a little to see that Melbourne was so far ahead of Singapore, but I guess it was a matter of taking one step back and three steps forward.

Singapore theatre needs to be saved.

By our generation.

By someone.

Someone like...God forbid! Some of us are born great, some become great, some of us have greatness thrust upon us... *is shot for narcissism*

But besides that rather narcissistic point, I loved the show. The effects were amazing, sound rather well done, orchestra didn't miss a single beat, and I totally understood where the politics and historical distortions were coming from. It was a beautiful, beautiful show, and the cast had such strong voices. (I was particularly disturbed for a brief moment during The Wizard and I, because Elphaba's voice was resonating across the entire hall.)

If you ever, ever, come across the Melbourne production, or the American one, if you are ever so fortunate, or the West End one... heck, if you come across any of them (that has a reputation for good drama, ie. not Singapore [yet]), GO WATCH IT.

That be all.

And when I can be bothered to, I shall post pictures of my college pad, and I shall tell you about my hostelmates (especially the ones I congregate and 'thon with around 9pm on).

A prayer

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit,

I come before you today, in the hope that You may give Coco more time here, with us, especially with my brother Worth, and my sister Earth.

I thank You for letting her come thus far, from her infancy, to the day we received her, to the day she survived the car crash and did not need the amputation on her hind leg. I thank You that she need not be put down at this point, that even when my mother told Coco's original owner "让她睡吧" (Let her sleep), You saved her from such a fate, and allowed her to regain some life in the presence of Earth and Auntie Thandar.

I pray, firstly, that should she receive a skin graft, that every operation on her be successful, and that no casualty will result, and secondly, that should she be coming home for good, that she lives out her days with the least pain, and the most happiness possible.

I no longer hate and despise the car that ran over her that day, that threw us into the predicament my family suffers now. It was not the driver's fault, but the work of Satan, that gave the car that final move towards her.

But I know my sister loves Coco with all her heart, despite how Coco's big appetite has troubled us so, and how her constant harassment for food has irritated us at times. My sister has always held a candle to Coco, always tried to protect Coco from all the consequences that Coco's little antics brought on her. For her I pray for strength and the will to live in Coco, that her life may be extended further longer, and that her health deteriorates no longer, that she need not be put to sleep.

I myself love Coco, despite my aversion to her licks and her sniffing my bare skin, and though admittedly I favour Ruski over Coco, it would be strange to not see that familiar face scuttle up to me and demand a stroke, or a pet, or to shake my hand. For that, I also pray Coco's life may be extended, that I may see her again even after my departure to Trinity College.

You once said "Let the weak say 'I am strong'," and it is in the faith of this statement that I pray You give her strength to carry on. To live a fuller life than that she already lives, and to keep us company for a longer time. I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Let me, with this power, speak life into Coco's life, that she'll live through this, exceedingly, abundantly, above all, against all odds.

But Lord, if you cannot do this, let Your will be done. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and if the unthinkable happens, at least let her go happy. Let her have the best last days a dog can have, let her be as happy as she can be. I myself do not wish for her to go any time soon, but if she must return to Your kingdom, she must.

I pray all this in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Breaking Off (And Settling In) - The Goodbye (And The Hello)

I feel more blessed than ever.

I remember on Friday the last person I talked to before going to the airport was Sensei.

I went in the shirt I wore on my first day as an intern, and I wore my Cedar tie as a sign of my allegiance. (I'm never going to use it again as an actual part of a uniform, but it makes a rather decent fashion statement.)

All the IB (Insane Brigade) people were there, aside from Penelope and Shanice (who were undoubtedly there in spirit), and so were Fedora, Yuan Jun, and many many people from my class.

My class people went off to eat shortly after I met them, but that they were there at all already was a blessing in itself.

FROM LEFT: Ojou-sama, Tereza, Fedora, yours truly, Prisia, Naomi, Yuan Jun

There's another picture I took, but I was so hurried I just rannnn... and it was sickeningly blurred. I'll put them on FB soon.

(I can see the headlines now, FLIPPED TIE TOTALLY SPOILS ATMOSPHERE.)

Prisia was in, as you may not see here, a red blouse, a necklace, a black skirt, and heels. Thought I might point that out :3

Before my departure I was given many letters, including but not limited to those from Yuan Jun, Han Jun, Le En, Ching Ying, Naomi, Fedora, Samantha, B40 in general. I also got this.

http://winter-ghost.deviantart.com/art/High-Tea-for-Vivi-107509821

4Z gave me a large stack of posters, which I have no idea how to hang in my room. But they will stay in my table at Albert House as a reminder of the love of Zandylanders.

I shall not disclose what Prisia gave me. You shall see later.

I shall continue this tomorrow.