i shall not talk about beijing beyond this paragraph. it was fine, deserted theme parks are scary, pandas were cute, i was consumed by a large underground 77th street, i pushed my way through stringed pearl curtains for the first time in my life and felt majorly rich even though i wasn't exactly, i peed myself by accident but thankfully none of it got on my clothes, i ended up looking extremely wretched upon my return though most of that was reversed in one sitting, the bird's nest and water cube aren't too big a deal really.

*breathes*

Alright, now that's done.

Today I won 4 and lost 2. All we really did today after warmups was free-fence. It was quite fun but very tiring.

VS Jessie: 5-1 (won)

VS Chloe: 5-4 (won directly after winning Jessie)

VS Geng Hao: 3-5 (lost)

VS Daniel: 5-3 (made it back :3333)

VS Jason: 5-4 (right of way.. T^T)

VS Truth: 5-2 (OHYES. Thank you Coach Esther for the lovely little piece of advice ^^.)

*deep long breath*

In three days I shall begin a daily series.

It shall be named... hmm I don't know. I'm stuck between Breaking Off, Breakaway, and anything else the average person throws at me.

All it will mean is that I'll obligate myself to take pictures of the places I go to, as a form of remembering them when I do, indeed, break off from this part of my life.

This is especially so I can remember my room, since I'm expected to move out of it within the next month. It will, I know this, become a place I cannot call "my room" any longer during the process, but I feel I should chart its progress as it slowly transforms from "my room" to "my sister's room".

Imagining the posters coming off my walls is depressing enough. First Mister Yagami, then Luffy, Kureha, Chopper, and the main actors of the Alabasta arc, after that Gaara, Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru. Enma, Kikuri, Ren, Hone Onna and Wanyuudo, they'll go too, before Ichigo and Rukia. The cast of Chopper Man will enter darkness, then Hoshigaki-san will, and then Light, L, Misa, Ryuk and Rem will leave. And at last, my heavy heart will see the departure of the SOS-dan.

I got most of them at the Parkway Comics Connection. I remember last year when I turned fifteen. I visited the shop and got myself the SOS-dan logbook which I now use as my piano logbook as a birthday present. They asked me if I liked posters, having come there so regularly to look at the posters, and I said yes, upon which they gave me two double-sided MapleStory third-job posters as a birthday present.

The people who did that, I don't see them anymore, nor do I remember how they look. But I remember being so happy, so very happy.

It's going to be hard to say goodbye to this place I know and love.

To not be able to call my room "my room" any longer, that will be hard.

To not be able to intern under Jingna-先生 (sensei, please) any longer, that will be hard.

To not be able to fence under Yilong-教练 any longer, that will be hard.

To not be able to go for service under Pastor How and Fedora more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard.

To not be able to meet Naomi and all my friends from HoGC more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard. Harder still, for there are new ones coming in all the time.

To not be able to see Mum and Dad in the flesh more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard.

To not be able to spaz with Tereza and Prisia and Iman-御娘-様 and the rest of what I used to call The Organisation more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard.

To cast aside my blue and grey uniform for ever, that won't be hard at first, but I will miss it dearly.

The Earth is cold, the fields are bare,
The branches fold against the wind that's everywhere.
The birds move on so they survive,
When snow so deep the bears all sleep to keep themselves alive.
They do what they must for now, and trust in their plan.
If I trust in mine somehow I might find who I am.

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear,
Which is the voice that I was meant to hear?
How will I know, where do I go from here.

My world has changed, and so have I.
I've learned to choose and even learned to say goodbye,
The path ahead, so hard to see.
It winds and bends, but where it ends all depends on only me.
In my heart I don't feel a part of so much I've known.
Now it seems it's time to start a new life on my own.

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear.
Which is the voice I was meant to hear.
How will I know, where do I go.
From here.

..

I need to stop emo-ing.