I don't even want to think about what happened this afternoon.
And now they all think that it's alright that he did that and that I saw it coming. They won't talk about it, they won't scold him.

I'm overreacting. I'm overreacting. I'm overreacting.
I'm only overreacting. I'm only overreacting by running away from him whenever I see him.

I'll try to tell myself he's not going to beat me up again.
He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.

I just have to be a good little girl.
I was a bad girl.
I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.

I'm a drama queen and I don't deserve to live in this house.

Sometimes I wonder if it warrants the punishment I got from him, what I did.

Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.
Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.
Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.
Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.

Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.

And then I wonder if my reaction was justified.

Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.

I hate this day. I'm so tired I want to sleep, but my legs hurt too much, as do my shoulders, for me to drag myself upstairs.

I'd wanted to spend the rest of the day upstairs without lunch or dinner, but my sister came and coaxed me downstairs. I'm still scared though, and I don't want to talk to my brother. I don't want to so much as look him in the eye. The less contact I have with him, the less chances I have of getting beaten up by him for the smallest things I do. (If I can get beaten for waking up late, for eating well-done sirloin steak that was meant to be his without my knowing it, for reading his books, and for playing his computer, I might as well stay far far away from him.)

I'll be happy to be away from him next year. Not so happy to be away from my sister.