another person

2009-05-13T23:26:00.000-07:00

"That's right, you just take that one road the whole time! ...Oh, I hope they don't get lost, I'm so bad at giving directions." - Glinda Upland, Wicked

I'm moving~

Because LJ seems like so much fun ^^.

...

somewhere over the rainbow, way up high

there's a land that i heard of, once in a lullaby

2009-05-06T02:15:00.000-07:00

I'm limited
Just look at me
I'm limited
And just look at you,
you can do all I couldn't do
...So now it's up to you
Now it's up to you

- Elphaba, For Good, Wicked.

Today I was defeated. Completely and utterly defeated.

It was painful. It still is painful.

And I hate it.

I hate it not just because I was defeated, though that is reason for anger, but I hate it because I was not defeated by someone with power. I was defeated by someone with a title, and someone who had great stupidity in his indecision.

You know that feeling? It's something like this one...

There I was minding my own business when the class gets divided into three. The ~~leader~~ fascist bastard of my division ignored all my suggestions about our group presentation assessment, worth 5% in our final grade for English for Academic Purposes.

We were supposed to do a group presentation on one aspect of nonverbal communication, between the following.

Facial communication
Gestural communication
Eye communication
Spacial communication
Artifactual communication

The fourth is about space. The fifth is about what you wear or otherwise use to adorn yourself.

For the longest time I pushed for artifactual communication. The fascist bastard whined and complained. "No, it's going to be troublesome! It's going to be time-consuming, it's going to take so long! Besides, we have to go out and look for resources!"

And he said all this, looking at me. The only person in Trinity College who had the nerve to dress so interestingly that one day in April.

As much as I wanted to yell at him, I breathed. "I'm a cosplayer. I have interesting clothes. What do you want, then?"

"I think we should do eye communication. It's easy, there isn't much effort involved. How hard can it be? It's just our eyes."

I wanted so badly to slap him across the face I cannot even begin to describe it here without gratuitous use of highest-level swearing (IT'S VOCABULARY TIME! Find synonyms for: copulate, copulate, copulating intercourse, intercourse, donkey excrement, may a stick be wedged in the centre of his posterior, matriach-copulating, cat), not that my calling him a fascist bastard isn't already doing so.

"But it's only our eyes!" I argued, "Do you know how insanely BORING that's going to be? This is worth 5%, if we don't put effort into it, it's not going to score."

"DO YOUR WORK!"

"Yes, Mummy."

What a landslide victory he'd gotten.

I tried to ask the fascist bastard again, when he was playing with his iPhone.

"Shut the [copulate] up."

And then the time came to choose, and Jane appeared and asked him of our choice.

"Um........ we still haven't decided. Go ask other people first."

Of course we hadn't, it was a fascist bastard against a person of no status, coupled by three people who were okay with anything!

The second group made their choice. She returned.

"You know what, come back later, we're putting it to a vote."

The third group made their choice. I convinced everyone. She returned.

"We want artifactual communication."

"It's taken by the second group. Do you have a second choice?"

They had heard everything I argued for. Everything. And it had made sense, as I knew it would have.

"Our second choice is gestural communication."

"It's taken by the third group. Do you have a third choice?"

"Our third choice is..."

We went into discussion with Jane, who in the end suggested facial communication over eye communication, since obviously the face includes the eyes.

This officially marks the day I've met the most stupid person of the year.

And somehow they seem to all be men, these stupid people.

How peculiar.

Well. He may go and copulate himself in the posterior, this fascist bastard. I'll just be sitting elsewhere, doing my own thing. I don't want to have anything to do with this project if we have to do this collectively. I'll do my side privately, and I'm not going to listen to what he says at all. And if he starts controlling, the fascist bastard he is, I'm going to keep as quiet as possible, as I have for the past two hours.

I'd have liked to do this...

but I have no patience as Itsuki has to deal with the likes of him.

This is what I'll be doing. Complete with the monosyllabic replies if need be. It's an extreme measure, but I think there's no way else I can go about getting my score. If I start talking to him I think I'm going to end up mothering him. I'll just do my own thing.

I'm still angry he had to screw it up. Now I have to do my assessment with a topic I hate to bits.

"You know, that's what school is about, you have to do assignments you don't like," consoled my mother, but up until this fascist bastard came along I was enjoying all my assignments.

Thank you, fascist bastard, for spoiling the record.

Results

2009-05-02T09:48:00.001-07:00

I've never seen my results so good ever since I left P3.

PSYCHOLOGY = 8.5/10

MATHS 1 (practice) = 42/50

MEDIA AND COMMUNICATIONS = 8.5/10

LITERATURE = 4.75/5

Today I had a KFC Snack Box, a White Chocolate Suckao, and half a regular packet of Grill'd fries to tide me over for the day.

That is all.

And I will not be doing the Spirit Bell again. Stop looking at me like that, Cheryl Looi.

2009-04-30T00:25:00.001-07:00

You Scored as Eponine

You're Eponine! You are hopelessly in love, but sometimes you are completely ignored. You are very strong, although you do not appear to be. You are extremely loyal and your loving nature can take you very far. Songs with Eponine: In My Life A Heart Full of Love One Day More On My Own A Little Fall of Rain Best Eponine Line: "Cosette, now I remember... Cosette, how can it be? We were children together... Look what's become of me..."

Eponine

95%

Fantine

90%

Cosette

80%

Marius

70%

Gavroche

65%

Enjolras

60%

Javert

40%

Valjean

35%

Thenardier

25%

2009-04-30T00:24:00.000-07:00

Which Disney Villain Are You?
	You are part Jafar. "How many times do I have to kill you boy?" You just want to be big and powerful... Is that so much to ask? I mean, you deserve it.
	You are part Lady Tremaine. You're the evil stepmother little girls have nightmares about. Hooray for you, who helped kids learn to love their birth parents and do everything possible to avoid stepparents. Next time, though, be careful not to get in between a girl and her dreams.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

this was a while ago...

2009-04-29T20:13:00.001-07:00

- Available: Almost never. And if I am, you have to call and hope I’m in a good mood.

- Age: Sixteen Going On Seventeen. Music number please! My time’s running out!

- Annoyance: I know I am, and that it doesn’t change no matter what I do. So I milk it.

- Allergic: No don’t think so. Picky though.

- Animal: A team of huskies, a handbag-size dog, a rabbit, or a black cat.

- Actor: Working towards it. Though I feel it slipping away. It’s not a good feeling.

- Beer: Being a minor and coming from a bloodline cursed to weakness in this area, I must decline.

- Birthday: Shikamaru’s birthday.

- Best friends: Naomi, the Insane Brigade. Any objections?

- Body Part on opposite sex: Facial features in general. And probably the pallor of their skin as well.

- Best feeling in the world: Ah, there are many. Musicals make a large part of it.

- Blind or Deaf: Neither, thank you. How would I enjoy my beloved musicals and anime otherwise?

- Best weather: Thunderstorm. It gives rise to great drama, and great warmth in numbers.

- Been in Love: Without me, his world will go on turning. The world is full of happiness that I have never known.

- Been bitched out?: Most probably at least once in my life. And I most probably have suffered some form of trauma from it, but it’s not important anymore.

- Been on stage?: I’m addicted to it. But until I can prove I deserve it, I won’t take it by force.

- Believe in yourself?: I believe I’m notoriously lacking in confidence. But I have an apparent lack of a sense of shame, and so if I feel like doing something interesting, I shall.

- Believe in life on other planets: Probably. Leia Organa, I will meet you someday.

- Believe in miracles: Yes. The number of times they happen for me can be counted with my fingers. The number of times things have gone miraculously wrong, however…

- Believe in Magic: Perhaps.

- Believe in God: I believe my religion dictates this. And I do, of my own accord.

- Believe in Satan: Absolutely and completely.

- Believe in Santa: I wish.

- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Yes.

- Believe in Evolution: Yes, I do.

- Car: I’ll settle for a Nissan. It’s not like I care. As long as I can pimp it.

- Candy: Any day.

- Colour: Blue, violet, pink, green, red, black, white.

- Cried in school: I can’t remember. I’ve done it at least once I think, but beyond that one time I can barely remember. Come close, many times.

- Chocolate/Vanilla: My goodness. White chocolate.

- Chinese/Mexican: Food? Depends I guess.

- Cake or pie: Cake. Marie Antoinette dictates it.

- Countries to visit: America, Britain, France, Spain, Switzerland, Germany, Italy, the Balkans, Russia, Greece, Portugal, Canada, Austria.

- Day or Night: Day. Because as romantic as they seem, night shots are usually too disgusting for me. (Exceptions, I know.)

- Dream vehicle: Teleporting machine.

- Danced: I led the Hare Hare Yukai. And I know the Motteke! Serafuku, the Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari, the BACCHIKOI (the main Naruto bits). Perhaps one day I shall take adult ballet. Hmm.

- Dance in the rain?: No, I might slip, fall and die.

- Dance in the middle of the street?: If the street is closed, I’d be more than happy to. To lead the Hare Hare Yukai again would be awesome.

- Do the splits?: A while back. Healing up, shall try again when things stop hurting insanely.

- Eggs: And sperms and zygotes, oh my!

- Eyes: I wish the irises were either red or violet.

- Everyone has: rights, all ready for me to strip off of them.

- Ever failed a class?: Art, Design and Technology, Higher Chinese, Maths, Additional Maths, Chemistry.

- First crush: I was ten. And in retrospect, the lack of judgement was disgusting.

- First thoughts waking up: GRAAH five more minutes.

- Food: xiao long bao, steak, gelato, Japanese curry, nachos.

- Greatest Fear: That I was wrong. All along.

- Giver or taker: Taker.

- Goals: To wear my heart on my sleeve. And when my person is overruled by another, to wear her heart on my sleeve.

- Gum: I can chew it, my lovely Singaporean brethren. IN YOUR FACE.

- Get along with your parents?: …Half the time.

- Good luck charms: We all like to believe something is. It’s why I sleep in shinigami robes before especially large events.

- Hair Colour: Dark brown or black, never dyed, permed, rebonded. Ever.

- Height: 175cm, or 5’9”

- Happy: is what happens, when all your dreams come true. Well, isn’t it?

- Holidays: homework is such an ironical thing here.

- How do you want to die: Dramatically.

- Health freak?: I wish.

- Hate: is a tool with which I may manipulate those around me.

(In guys/girls)

- Eye colour: I still wish the irises were red or violet. However deep blue or grey is equally lovely.

- Hair Colour: A light brown. Or dark hair with mild blonde highlights.

- Height: A little taller. Just a little.

- Clothing Style: Cosplay elements. It can’t be boring. VISUAL APPEAL.

- Characteristics: I don’t know, really.

- Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream, Freddo Surprise, Roche, English Toffee.

- Instrument: I want to learn the violin. Also, the turntables.

- Jewelry: One ring, most probably on the thumb. A golden rose on a silver ring on my ring finger is good too. Pendants are pretty.

- Job: It better be something where I can express myself.

- Kids: Not from my ---- you don’t.

- Kickboxing or karate: …FENCING!!!!!!!!!!!! Take it to the piste!

- Keep a journal?: Will it involve reflections? Those are crappy. Don’t you just hate the reflections people make you write? I prefer the unexamined life. I prefer blogs. Music and all.

- Longest Car Ride: Probably in Australia, from Murdoch to Margaret River.

- Love: is not for me to feel.

- Letter: How romantic. I tend to ramble without end, and that’s why I stopped writing them.

- Laughed so hard you cried: Yes.

- Love at first sight: If it is not for me to feel, I don’t trust it.

- Milk flavour: Nah.

- Movie: Japanese please.

- Mooned anyone?: I will not be arrested for indecent exposure.

- Marriage: If love is not for me to feel, I won’t think of it.

- Motion sickness?: None for me.

- McD's or BK: McDonald’s. In Australia they call it Hungry Jack’s.

- Number of Siblings: Three. Two brothers and a sister. I’m oldest.

- Number of Piercings: Undefiled.

- Number: 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 3, 8, 7, 4, 4, 888985 (From P1 till Trinity College.)

- Overused Phrases: Anyway…

- One wish: Infinite wishes.

- One phobia: Nyctophobia.

- Place you'd like to live: London.

- Pepsi/Coke: Lift.

- Quail: couldn’t care less.

- Questionnaires: I do them randomly. I’m annoying like that :D

- Reason to cry: I don’t have one. If I feel like it, then there it is.

- Reality T.V.: I Survived A Japanese Gameshow, So You Think You Can Dance

- Radio Station: Goodness. Radio. Why would I allow myself to be at the mercy of DJs? That’s representative democracy in action.

- Roll your tongue in a circle?: And touch my nose. And drive it up my nose a little. And do the Gene Simmons Tongue Wag. I’m all ready to perfect Orochimaru.

- Song: No good deed goes unpunished, no act of charity goes unresented. (As of yet I lack a belting voice, and cannot perform this one properly. But it is a beautiful piece.)

- Shoe size: 7-8

- Sushi: Cooked salmon onigiri. With the rice fully covered by seaweed and not by a single cheap strip. In other words, prepared Japanese konbini-style.

- Skipped school: Oh heavens, no! Not without a good and rational reason.

- Slept outside: Ewww, disgusting!

- Seen a dead body: Naturally. Three or four, actually.

- Smoked?: No. More disgusting than sleeping outside, even with the cherry flavoured smoke.

- Skinny dipped?: Never.

- Shower daily?: Naturally.

- Sing well?: Working on it, with great disdain towards pop music vocals. I sit at the feet of Idina Menzel, and I am filled with respect towards Julie Andrews’ prime.

- In the shower?: Sometimes.

- Swear?: At will.

- Stuffed Animals?: Only one may accompany me. And for now, that one is Mochi.

- Single/Group dates: I’ll decide when the time comes.

- Strawberries/Blueberries: Ichigo.

- Scientists need to invent: Time machines.

- Time for bed: I might sleep a lot, or I might not sleep at all.

- Thunderstorms: are epic drama.

- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Heck, I can shove it up. I can’t wait for the day I touch the skin underneath my eye!

- Unpredictable: Sometimes.

- Under the influence?: I dance to my own beat.

- Understanding?: I can be very villainous. Do not expect this of me.

- Vegetable you hate: Every single one.

- Vegetable you love: Anything that Mummy can blend and make into a cream soup.

- Vacation spot: Tokyo! Shinjuku! Harajuku! Daikanyama! Akihabara! IKUZO~!

- Weakness: Many. But why would I tell you? I’m a villain!

- When you grow up: I’ll begin my colonizing of the world.

- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Like me? No way.

- Who makes you laugh the most: It’s hard to say.

- Worst feeling: Loss.

- Wanted to be a model?: The figure is all I have. The thought never really crossed my mind in earnest. Also it seems a bit troublesome.

- Where do we go when we die: Heaven. Or if you sold your soul to Sebastian…Hell.

- Worst weather: Humid, extremely warm.

- Walk with a book on your head?: Not at all.

- X-Rays: Health checks for student visas and stuff.

-Year it is now: 2009

-Yellow: Piss.

- Zoo animal: Pandas.

- Zodiac sign: Virgo Monkey. (I act nothing like a Virgo. Libra’s much closer.)

LAST PERSON WHO…

1. Slept in a bed beside you?: Earth.

2. Last person to see you cry?: I can’t remember.

3. Went to the movies with you?: Mummy, Truth.

4. You went to the mall with?: Mummy, Dad, Truth.

5. You went out to dinner with?: Mummy, Truth, Earth, my cousin.

6. You talked to on the phone?: Prisia. Kuroshitsuji crit. :3

7. Made you laugh?: The torture war between Prisia and Truth. XDDDDD

Media&Comm

2009-04-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

8.5/10.

He has no issues at all with my article, since everything was well-done except for one typo. *is shot for Grammar Nazi blasphemy*

He had issues though, with the model article, which didn't seem to go down well with what I was writing about. And now I think of it, he's right.

He seems to like Sensei's work now, and he said the article was very artistic. :3

I wonder what Sensei thinks.

2009-04-29T08:09:00.001-07:00

Well.

What insane insanity, these couple days have been.

Yesterday was Psychology tutorial, and I got my assessment back. I got 8.5/10 for the psychology presentation, proving once and for all that Ciel saved the day. I got the highest mark in my presentation group, which was probably for the speaking bit. Oh well. I expected this much of myself.

Today I woke up extremely late after dreaming up (what almost was) my death. It was absolute bedlam after that, and I walked really briskly to school, and when I got there my face was almost completely stiff.

I slept quite a bit in a couple of classes today, which was sad, but I was having an insane headache. (Dreaming something like that. Never happens without negative side effects.)

I got my Literature paper back, and I had a look-see at it. I still can't believe that I actually wrote all that crap on my own, even if it featured my epicly horrible handwriting and even if I winged it by finishing the practice essay an hour before the exam was to begin.

Faith is never, ever, ever, ever going to do her exams that way again. This was luck, in what is probably one of its purest forms.

Faith, you have really put a lot of thought and consideration into this response, and explored some imaginative possibilities evoked by the words in the poem. I am very impressed by the quality of your reasoning and argument, and feel some of your interpretations are quite sophisticated. You really put this poem under the microscope and explored its secrets - or at least, made some original suggestions about possible meanings. This is far from a surface analysis, which puts it into a higher-quality standard response category.

My only concern - or recommendation for improvement - is that some more formal structuring which reflected the exam question would have connected your essay more clearly with the assessment criteria. Yes, formulaic structuring can make an essay dull, but in an exam, or any other formal assessment, a structure which addresses the question - that is, mentioning ideas, emotions & techniques in a more direct way - often improves the communication, and ensures you answer the question asked.

I think you DID do those things, but not in as formal or direct a way as you might have.

4.75/5

*epic happy shock*

We covered the first couple of pages of Farenheit 451 today. I wonder how I'll fare.

Jane didn't come for class today. Pity, I dressed in my Rum Tum Tugger-inspired clothes again too.

Oh well.

Lit lecture was... exactly like tutorial. Meh.

I had two slices of Margherita pizza today for dinner. Cheesy epic nummyness. How simple it can be~.

I also had a nice sleep till about ten. Then I went out and did a spot of shopping with Natasha, and I had a Lift before coming back.

I pwned Rena and Joyce in Tap Tap Revenge again, and when they played with each other they were evenly matched. No wonder.

But Rena bested my score for Falling Balls, and Joyce topped my FingerSprint scores, wiping me off my own Top Ten board. Oh well. At least I have TTR over them :3

I'm nervous-ish for tomorrow. My Media&Comm assessment is coming back, and I fervently hope I do Sensei proud. Things have gone smoothly for me up to this point, a little too smoothly than what I'm used to, and I'm a little afraid that my Media&Comm assessment will prove to be the turning point. Of course, armed with the information I have, and the fact that it's most likely nearly everyone did their works on something other than Photoshop or GIMP, I'll get something decent. But I want the best for Sensei's article. :<

Gott mit uns. Gott mit uns. Gott mit uns.

And what of Maths? That little trick I did appearing in my North High serafuku isn't going to save my ass, I know, but I wonder how I fared. Hmm. I don't think it'll be too bad either, and I'm expecting probably high 30s early 40s. I don't think it'll be epic fail.

Oh well, God help me here, then.

Kyrie eleison.

2009-04-26T22:56:00.001-07:00

Leaving was hard. But the new term was starting so I had to go.

Pity, pity.

The last outings with Yi Yun, Prisia and Iman were fun though. We'll go to Pasta de Waraku again some other time? ´● ω ●`

I did get my Akatsuki jacket in the end, as well as a Kuroshitsuji pin, a mini-Senbonzakura, another pair of ninja sandals, and I found my first pair of sandals and my panda muffler. I also pimped my bag, so now it's fuller with badges than ever.

Homework on the first day of school. Sheesh.

Also today Cephas asked me if I wanted to sit next to him for Psychology lecture. Everyone around him was laughing, even if they'd been through Drama class (likely most of them scored better than me for the mime assessment) it was bloody obvious that he was on a dare.

"No". Said I.

"OHHHHHHHH," echoed the surrounding ensemble.

"Maybe next week". Smiled I.

"WOAHHHHHHHHHHHH," they chorused.

Class was alright as usual. In about an hour my first fencing lesson of the term will commence. Can't wait~

testimonial.

2009-04-22T02:24:00.000-07:00

Remember this... testimonials are sugar-coated beings. Swirl the terms around in your head a bit and you might get something closer to my actual personality.

CHARACTER

Faith's sensitive demeanour often belies her perceptive nature and sharp sense of humour. Her quick wit and forthright opinions make for very interesting class discussions. While she is very accommodating and open with expressing her point of view, Faith is also receptive to constructive feedback and resilient in handling the challenges she faces. On a personal level, Faith has proven herself to be loyal in her friendships. As a faithful friend, she would not hesitate to lend a helping hand when needed , and is able to offer her insights to the challenges faced by others. Faith is also passionate about her interests in life and is keen to share her knowledge with others.

PASSION FOR LEARNING

Faith excels in divergent and independent thinking and is able to surface new ideas from different perspectives. She has a natural flair for communicating her views spontaneously, and her sharp intellect has been proven through her consistently cogent and effective communication through the written language. Faith often asks thought-provoking questions to build on existing knowledge, and is not afraid to seek clarifications. She demonstrates creative imagination and strong powers of observation. Adept at stimulating curiosity among her peers to enhance learning, she is highly analytical. When she applies herself, Faith is able to produce work that is original in thought and expression.

COLLABORATION AND LEADERSHIP

(actually just the collaboration bit. Leadership my foot.)

Faith was a valued member of the English Literary, Drama and Debate Society (ELDDS). She spent a significant amount of time and effort using her interest in computer graphic design to design publicity materials for ELDDS. When given the opportunity to explore her passion for the Aesthetics, Faith was able to immerse herself in the role she was assigned, and demonstrated willingness to invest time in improving her performance. Faith was also part of the team that garnered a Bronze Award at the Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging Competition. For her efforts and contributions, she was awarded the Cedar Achievement Award (Team). An inquisitive pupil who has the potential for further growth, Faith also pursues other interests, such as fencing, outside of school. A discerning pupil, Faith has the ability to reach her personal goals when she puts her mind to it.

ELDDS CRASH

2009-04-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

So...

I went to crash ELDDS on Tuesday.

I tried calling Shanice but her phone was off, oh well.

So I went off on my own, with no one to tip them off. XD

And when I got to the third level, Michelle and Prabhmeet saw me ^^.

After we talked for a bit I went in and hung out with everyone, and we folded the clothes that were in the ELDDS store.

They were throwing a lot of things out, including that one cheongsam that caused me rather unfathomable mental pain when I was thirteen. (Actually now I wouldn't mind wearing it again, but it needs sleeves and a looser collar. And preferably, a pair of tights should be in order.) I was given the option of taking it back, but then again, I wouldn't use it, ever, so I declined.

Come to think of it I need to find and buy a decent white kosode, otherwise I'll never be able to wear that violet kimono I bought...

But anyway. The Secondary Threes gave their election speeches that day, with the very novel "Don't Vote For Me, Vote For Us" grabbing me quite strongly. There was at least one person who promised that the only difference between being in the exco and not being in the exco, under her, would be merely a title, which I agreed very strongly with. More people would be willing to follow if distributive leadership was applied more frequently. (I decided to openly declare I didn't want to join the exco because I thought that following was fine, and the only difference was the title too. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.)

They were pretty good, though admittedly the performances weren't that great. (Extremely biased source. Spoken by person who attended music theatre class with postgraduate students and who went to watch Wicked.)

Then again, on the bright side, that part isn't important, and people who recited their poems had poems that actually sounded good, as compared to my year. (WILL YOUR POEMS FREAKING RHYME PLEASE, YOU'RE PUTTING PEOPLE TO SLEEP.)

The drama people seemed pretty happy with the special announcement after CCA. I was pretty happy too, that they were happy. It took them a while to understand the full effect of it though, thank you Anu.

After that I gave Mr Sng the final bit of the special announcement, and we had a conversation that looked something like this...

Mr Sng: "So, are you whupping the Australians' asses over in Melbourne?"

Me: "...No, because I'm surrounded by Singaporean and Malaysian and Chinese students. And there should be people from Hong Kong and Taiwan too."

Mr Sng: "In which case you aren't."

Me: "Yup."

After that I hung out for a bit with Mrs R.W., who apparently liked Black Sabbath too. She likes Iron Maiden and Deep Purple too, which I shall need to see.

After Mrs R.W. left, I found Ms Siew, and we talked for a little bit about my cosplay plans as Sebastian.

After Prisia and Iman and Sakinah came over, Ms Siew left, and we went to collect our graduation certificates, the testimonial of which you will see in due course. We met Mr Sng and Ms Poon, and talked a bit about how life was for us.

Mr Sng has apparently, as a preventive measure after my little stunt last year, barred narratives alluding to vampires to be written in his class (mostly because he misunderstood my work; it was about a mafia induction, not a vampire fic). Which leaves me a happy girl, because I am not only selfish, but also, I am a Twilight-basher. The advantages I see in Mr Sng's move are as follows...

Since Twilight is obviously a very screwed representation of vampires (they're VAMPIRES, Stephenie, not superheroes), and there seem to be many Twihards in Cedar (and everywhere else), vampires are liable to be very screwed over without Mr Sng's preventive measure.
My "very gothic and vampirish" narrative will never be bested by another work in the future, and the 26/30 mark I got is hence the final word in dark fiction of the sort in his class.
I'd hate to imagine legit vampire fic written at the secondary school level, actually. I have no idea how people would actually carry it off. Especially after the epic train-wreck that Twilight is.
Woah, this rule was created because of me. This is the second time, I think, that Mr Sng's created a rule because of me. Maybe one day I'll go back to Cedar, borrow someone's student handbook, and see the rules clearly stating that socks can only be three fingers' width in length above the ankle. Because of me.

After that I went to Ajisen Ramen and had my first nan-kotsu ramen in ages. It was an awesome conclusion to an awesome afternoon :3

2009-04-13T11:02:00.001-07:00

Oh right, did I mention? I'm in Singapore now.

2009-04-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

Literature exam went...well.

I was supposed to prepare two poems just in case one didn't come out. So I prepared The First Born by Jack Davis and Bitter by Ifi Amadiume. The First Born was very much emphasised upon both in tutorial and at lecture, and so was Bitter, but Bitter was covered much earlier. I finished the preparatory essay about half an hour before I left for the exam, and so the points were very very fresh in my head. And at the final moment, when I saw both poems had come out, against my better judgement (I know it was against my better judgement because there was a voice in my head yelling "THIS IS YOUR BETTER JUDGEMENT. DON'T DO IT.") I chose Bitter, instead of The First Born, which many people were banking on.

Do not try at home. (I know I won't again.)

I wore a one-piece black dress to the exam. People thought I was cosplaying even though I wasn't. XD

I think I'll try to procure a Younger Orochimaru kimono. I think it's pretty :3 (And I can wear it to exams, too.)

But Monday was very cold, and so I ended up sleeping through fencing. *sigh*

Monday night was insanely fun! Joyce and Natasha and me sat outside the M1-M4 corridor like hobos in near darkness, and we talked to Kuo Wei. And I brought out my MacBook and it started hitting on Kuo Wei. (MACBOOK VOICE FTW.) Afterwards I started recording Kuo Wei's conversation with the whole lot of us, right up till the point where it ended.

Later Joyce and I went to the tea-room and I started chopping up the recording. We made it into a pretty recording that made Kuo Wei look like a total asshole. He now swears bloody revenge on me. How nice of him! :D

I didn't sleep a wink that night. Hanging clothes and stuff.

At about six I took a nice long shower and got into a blazer-collared shirt-tie combination. Most pretty indeed, and I camwhored in the first level toilet later. I may post pictures if I feel like it.

I slept a little on the sofa on the first level later, before I woke up and had breakfast and announced my forthcoming departure. After that I showed the people in the dining room the [modified] recording and they laughed. I went up later to pack, and saw Kuo Wei, where he swore bloody revenge on me, as I said above.

I went out after a little bit of packing to buy chocolate and a two books on theatre. And after that I stayed in my room and packed and packed, until I was done.

Then I went down with my (bloody heavy: 20.3kg) luggage, and I saw Cheryl and Joyce and Jessica and Rena and Natasha, so I said something along the lines of "Well, see you in about three weeks then.", and I smiled and skipped off to the stairwell where my luggage was.

They pursued me and demanded a proper farewell. Hmm.

So we talked for a bit about what I was going to do, things like that.

And in the end the bus came and so I went off.

I found out when I checked in that, to my horror, I was an Unaccompanied Minor. Which never bodes well when you're sixteen going on seventeen.

I had a peaceful lunch at Subway before going to embrace my U.M. life. I decided that I had to look the part, and took out my Starburst Rattlesnakes (Re-juiced, 30% less sugar) and held them in one hand, and I took out Mochi and held him in my free arm. I think I looked sufficiently immature, but I don't know.

May I mention I'm never going to eat anything from the Re-juiced range again? I like sugar, sankyuu very much. Re-juiced gummies seem to be for masochistic people.

The airport staff raised his eyebrows when he saw Mochi pass through the X-ray. He thought it was a voodoo doll, the poor guy.

I had to sit at the gates about half an hour to an hour before I could board. It was insanely boring in ways I cannot describe. And it got even more insanely boring when I got on the plane.

Listen to music. Eat Rattlesnakes. Read. Listen. Eat. Read. And when the Rattlesnakes ran out I had to substitute them for LCMs (which tasted better, but were in short short supply).

I had beef goulash for dinner, which was nummy. And ice cream too. The man beside me would drink only alcohol. Beer. Red wine. Whathaveyou. It was insane, I felt dumb sitting beside him and ordering only apple juice every time she came along.

But it went alright, and when the time came to disembark, I went to the Business Class area to sit for a little.

I'd never sat in Business Class before, so you can imagine my happiness with the extra legroom (IN YOUR FACE CLAUSTROPHOBIC ECONOMY/LIVESTOCK CLASS.). Also I found that the footrest was adjustable, so I pushed a couple of buttons, and the footrest went in, and out, and in... it was fun! ^^

Also I saw the outside of a lightning storm. Very beautiful at night, I tells you. Most of the time it was just flashing white light, but sometimes if I was lucky I'd see an actual lightning bolt. Once I saw a silver one draw itself out across the sky, and I thought how beautiful it was to cause such art in the atmosphere.

But we landed. Oh well.

I met Prisia and Tereza at the gates, along with Earth and Mummy, and later I met Fedora, Darren and Sylvia. I gave Tereza postcards from Manifest and Amaranth, which I got from the Minifest room for Amaranth. I handed Fedora the Rondoletti wafers she asked for (she was addicted too!), and after getting an iced Milo, we talked for a bit, and then went our separate ways. Prisia got a lift home from Mummy though, and so I let her listen to The Wizard And I, which, as I predicted, she objected vehemently against. It was most enjoyable indeed.

The moment I got home and dragged in my luggage, my luggage got stuck in the door. I tried to pull it in for a bit, and Dad came up and frantically yelled "No, no don't pull! I'll carry it in for you!"

"Motherly as usual, I see," I replied.

And so my life in Singapore began again.

I went to Aston's, had dinner at home, ate 10 of Din Tai Feng's xiao long bao at one shot, resumed my romance with Mummy's panfried fish and cream of watercress and mashed potatoes with bacon and brown sauce, had McDonald's, ate at Popeye's, nom'd on Delifrance, consumed Crystal Jade xiao long bao, fell in love again with my auntie's curry chicken, and tasted the kolo mee at City Plaza.

I also went for the Good Friday service at HoGC for the first time ever since I joined it, visited the fencers, watched Cats (RUM TUM TUGGER. I LOVES YOU SO. YOU BEAT THAT PARTRIDGE DUDE ANY DAY.), re-layered my hair, and had a facial.

Oh right, about Cats. The strong call of nature forced me to miss the last three musical numbers of the first act. :<

BUT at least I didn't miss any strong Rum Tum Tugger moments! I really like him, he's like the perfect J-Rocker Jellicle Cat. Totally acts like it, with gyrating hips thrown in.

Also I had the opportunity to see three people from the cast getting out the back of the auditorium door nearest where I was. They were insanely tired. They sort of like staggered out the door, and they were all breathing very, very deeply. One of them stopped just outside the cast lounge and stood there for a while, bent over and obviously nearly exhausted, but the moment I began to walk over to him he regained his composure and walked into the lounge.

The other two who came after him, I asked if they were fine. And they were :3

I kind of get why they were exhausted, because there were very few moments in the entire musical when they weren't singing, dancing, or doing both at the same time, it seems there're very few speaking (not singing) bits in Cats. And their dancing..jazz, tap, ballet. Stuff I wanted to learn. Ballet alone takes a lot of energy. Hmm...

I guess that was a consolation prize for not watching that segment of the show. Ah well.

I finished Kuroshitsuji (anime). I love love love the ending, even though it has no sense of closure at all it's still so very beautiful. It also makes me want to cosplay Sebastian even more. (It also makes the pressure of cosplaying Sebastian even more intense.)

I watched Hetalia and DMC, both of which are awesome in their own ways, but which ultimately cannot compare to Kuroshitsuji. (Maybe DMC can, but it's a human production limited by human effects. MatsuKen is still the most pwnsome actor I've seen for a bit, to transition so smoothly from L to Negishi/Krauser. Not directly, but still.)

I'm really psyched for tomorrow, because I'm going to crash Cedar and meet my juniors and teachers and everyone. Also if I can I'd like to get that floor-length black pleated teacher-type skirt from the store I saw today. :D

The pictures

2009-04-04T03:16:00.000-07:00

...yokatta~, all that stuff's been removed. I feel much better now.

Sasuke x Itachi.

Edward Elric

Cross Marian with a disturbing mask on. He looks much better without it.

Mello and L (mini).

Disturbing yaoi scene between Reno and a Minifest volunteer.

How I will die.

Moi. :D This was not run through Photoshop at all! (But I did colour-process it a bit in iPhoto XD)

Minifest and my Maths exam

2009-04-04T01:52:00.001-07:00

The week concluded, and only made sense with, this letter, and the following.

~~~~~~~~~

To self in the very near future:

DIVERSIONARY TACTIC #305. THE WHOLE DAY.

1) Wake up. Since you are reading this, we shall assume you have done so.

2) DO NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!!!!! This is imperative, because you have a life outside your bed. Especially today. And you know it.

3) Take shower, but come out by 7.45 am. You have a life outside the bathroom, Faith.
3.1) Remember to leave conditioner in for full 5 minutes. How else are you to have your long shiny smooth hair?

4) Towel-dry hair. But not too violently, otherwise it shall become a heap of black tangled nothing.

5) Get out. Place unmentionables.

6) Blow-dry hair.

7) Get dressed. This should explain itself.

7.1) Avail thyself of a white tank top and full-length stockings, for they are the under-things over the under-things.
7.2) Remember to take necessary measures to prevent up-skirts. You know more than anyone else that the use of sera-fuku practically dictates up-skirts. Remember the shorts.
7.3) Enter the sera-fuku. Wrestle with it mildly if you please, but by no means should you use brute physical force on it. It's a sera-fuku, not a pro wrestler. It can tear. And it costs money, which isn’t half as important as the fact that it’s a present from Prisia.
7.3.1) Ensure skirt is pulled down as far as possible, and that shorts are pulled up as far as possible. This is more for Point 7.2
7.3.2) The ribbon and belt of the sera-fuku should also be in place by now.
7.4) Wear black knee-length socks, and white shoes. Nothing interesting can be said about this, apparently.

8) Tone. You've done this every day ever since you got here, I trust you know how to already.

9) Moisturise. And leave it in for a little while before beginning Point 11.

10) Use the expensive hair cream that you never really could be bothered to use. At last, it comes in handy.

11) Tie hair back. The apocalypse is coming. (For you, anyway, it is the apocalypse)

12) Makeup. This obviously is your least favourite section, so it is advisable you get this over with quickly. Ignore voices in your head that say "Jesus Christ, she's taking freaking forever!"**
12.1) Base/Foundation.
12.2) Concealer. And you know you need this more than ever today. Well, not
ever, but you get the point.
12.3) Loose powder. And nothing more. Be happy. Be very happy.
12.4) Lip balm. This shouldn’t kill you, you’ve done this one a lot.

13) Run through Maths 1 one last time.
13.1) Focus especially on functions, the (obviously) weakest area of your units so far.
13.1.1) Domain
13.1.2) Range
13.1.3) Hybrid-functions.

14) Get overcoat. You don't want to spoil this for the general public at this stage, do you? No, of course you don’t! You want to wait till everyone’s nicely settled at Arrow on Swanston, and then take your overcoat off and shock and disturb the rest of the people in the exam hall! That’s why this is a DIVERSIONARY tactic.***

15) Ensure everything you need is packed. (iPod, calculator, handphone, pencil case, wallet, keys, loose powder, watch, mathematical instruments.) You'll thank me for this later.

16) Go down and have breakfast. Drink porridge again, or have toast. Your call.

17) Leave early
17.1) Buy makeup remover if possible.
17.2) Buy bottled water. For the exam.

18) Go for your exam.
18.1) Watch shocked and disturbed expressions of people around you.
18.2) Briefly bask in the schadenfreude you feel.
18.3) Get your head in the game.
18.4) PWN THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

19) Have lunch and go to Minifest.

20) Enjoy the insanity of Minifest!

21) Remember to use loose powder when you have to (as much as you hate it you don’t want your concealer and foundation disappearing and leaving you… unguarded.)

-

It is late, so I shall turn in for now. I shall see you, then, future self, in a matter of about six hours and ten minutes.
Fare thee well.

With all due respect,

Faith Sim
12.50 am
4/4/09

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** = I did rush it though, because I didn't ignore the voices in my head. More on that later.

*** = I believe I have misplaced it. I shall search lost and found on Monday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so I followed all the instructions my past self dictated, except breakfast, and whatever was indicated in the asterisks above.

I stepped out of my room, unshielded by an overcoat, for the rest of the universe to see. I walked to the exit to the second level, when suddenly I heard a click and CHAI SITING entered. She was epicly shocked like I've never seen her shocked before, and she ran out yelling something roughly meaning "OH MY ****ING GOD.". Rena and Joyce and Natasha (I think) opened the door and looked in, and they were shocked too, but not half as shocked as Siting was. Rena asked if this was the first part, the second part, or just it, and I replied that this was all it was. (Still scary.)

I skipped down the stairs and out the door, settling outside for a bit, since it was a cold morning.

Spring opened the door and asked if I was alright, since today was rather cold. I told her I was wearing at least two layers, which was no lie (except for my legs, the poor things). After a bit, I walked off to Arrow on Swanston.

Everyone I walked past stared. And when I say everyone, I *mean* everyone. There was this one old man with large disgruntled eyes looking up at me (because he was so short and because he was slouching) and when we nearly crossed paths he shook his head slightly. Oh well. Other than that everyone just looked with extremely amused expressions.

I made it to Arrow on Swanston, where I settled down and ran through revision one last time. (It looks much better in a sera-fuku. Really. You actually feel like you're going to get something done, being in a sera-fuku.) There I was relatively undisturbed, except for a couple of people who inquired why I was in my sera-fuku, to which I replied, "I felt like it ^____^"

I got into a bit of confusion over seat numbers too, where I mistook my Literature seat number for my Maths seat number. Pity, sitting with Ulysses would've been quite awesome. But oh well, never mind.

Maths went off without much of a hitch (except for this one question which has appeared so many times I've grown numb to it, which a certain someone I know will kill me for not answering correctly). I didn't even need water, and I finished about half an hour ahead of time, so after checking I sauntered out of the exam hall, ribbon bobbing up and down in a most adorable manner.

I waited a little while, and Phaik Yie came, and so did the gay nutter Lennon. By the way, the next time I see Lennon, I want to roundhouse kick him across the face. No special reason~

I nominated Phaik Yie my head prefect for the day, since she did Ryoko Asakura before and could hence bother me with attire checks and that kind of thing. (Teach me how to make the world end :D)

We went to eat at Grill'd, and food was nummy. :3

Then we went to Big W, where I window-shopped, since my bag was already full. Drama girls, expect Crunchie Easter eggs soon. They're gold...with honours. :D

I was tired then, I yawned non-stop. I wanted to go home and sleep for a bit... but the head prefect advised against it. So no extra sleep.

And so we parted ways and I went to Minifest, where the first thing I did was watch the cosplay competition. Female Light and L were on, and I was sitting right behind them. They later wrote Naruto's name in the Death Note.

I went upstairs, where I met a Naruto and a Curse Seal Level 1 Sasuke. Was pretty awesome, and I also met an Itachi and a Kakashi. Admittedly not much I saw was on the level of general Singaporean cosplay, but it's still fine, I guess.

We danced the Hare Hare Yukai. Being the only one in the North High sera-fuku, I led. After that we did the Caramelldansen, and Sasuke and I were the only two (far as I knew) who lasted the whole way :D

Sasuke and I later did the Motteke! Sera-fuku too. It was insane ^_______^

After that I went to play DDR, where I tried (and failed) to place hand actions to the Hare Hare Yukai. Lelouch did rather well actually. Also I played the Motteke! Sera-fuku, which I was heaps better at (mainly because I stopped trying to place hand actions to the music).

I played Rock Band for the first time in my life, where (as usual) I had minor timing issues with the guitar. I was a pretty good vocalist though, except I didn't know a couple of songs, which would become my undoing.

After that I got a wrap from KFC (I wish they'd stop being stupid and calling their wraps funny things like Twisters and Rollers), and went home.

And now I am tired, but I cannot flop upon the table I'm writing this on because of Point 12. *sigh* This is why I don't normally do this =.=

Alright, I'll upload a couple of photos later, camwhore a little, and then I can do myself a big big favour and remove all evidence of my little escapade today.

iyaaaaan~ tag ><

2009-04-03T00:18:00.000-07:00

[1] Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.
Blanket. Oil blotting tissues. Mochi. Mac. iPod speakers.

[2] How do you style your hair?
It needs styling? Since when has my straight (not anal-retentive yet, but you get it), layered, middle-left parted hair ever needed styling?

...

The laws of gravity, then. And a hairbrush.

[3] What are you wearing now?
My worn out black Converses (shall need to replace them, as much as I love them)

A black and white shirt, striped horizontally.

My slightly faded (it's turned from black to greenish-black, but loved and as of yet irreplaceable) trousers.

[4] If you could have any other talents, what would they be?

In the plane of reality... A good strong sound no matter what I sing, insane flexibility, an IQ of 200, the ability to play the violin, to know (well) how to use all the swords of the world, the ability to concentrate, to believe, to become one with people who may only exist in my head and on paper.

[5] Do you nap a lot?
Yes... *runs away from Media and Communications lecturer*

[6] Do you wake up early or sleep in?
Sleep in. As much as possible. I usually set my alarm such that I can sleep in for 15-30 minutes more after it goes off.

[7] What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
SEBASTIAN *_______* Kuroshitsuji :3 (YES PHAIK YIE. TAKE THAT.)

Elphaba (they weren't kidding when they said Idina Menzel had an iron larynx) from Wicked

Orochimaru (long-term love :D)

Les Miserables (COSETTE/EPONINE)

[8] What was the last thing you ate today?
Hostel-made potato wedges. The first ones were good, the later ones were...ew.

[9] What was the last text you received?
Holiday homework for Maths. T^T

[10] What websites do you always visit when you go online?
Facebook, Gmail, deviantART (lurking. srs bsnss), OneManga (every Friday)

[11] What was the last thing you bought?
I'll be so dead if the last thing I bought gets out. (Ojou-sama and Prisia are so going to kill me.)

[12] What are you listening to right now?
Where Do I Begin - Idina Menzel (interestingness.)

[13] What do you think about before you go to bed at night?
Mochi. :3

[14] What is your favorite food?
Japanese curry, medium steak (The higher end kind. Sirloin or porterhouse. Black pepper or mushroom sauce.), Oreo cheesecake (mummy's), cream of broccoli, cream of mushroom, cream of asparagus, cream of watercress (all of which are mummy's), nachos, Ikea meatballs, and and and 小笼包!!!

[15] What is your favorite weather, and why?

A little fall of rain... will help the flowers grow. (Actually I like thunderstorms. They are the embodiment of my obsession with dramatic images, and also when I'm in Singapore and we're watching TV and there's a thunderstorm Ruski runs to us from wherever she is and makes us pet her, and then she goes to sleep at our feet. It's such a warm image.)

[16] How do you release your frustration?
Take it to the piste. (The fencing one. And I'm sorry to say this because it may be a little unethical, but I derive intense malicious pleasure from every attack, be it a legitimate one, or an off-target.)

[17] How are you?
I feel...malicious. Deliciously so.

[18] What is the one thing that you wish for to come true?

I have the power to wish all the wishes I want.

2009-03-27T09:47:00.001-07:00

Last Friday I met Ms Kong for lunch. :3 It was pretty awesome catching up with her and everything, considering how the last time I properly spoke to her in person it was most probably about Singaporean history (ew). We had ice cream after lunch. (Roche, Biscuit, Freddo Surprise. Sometimes, many times actually, I love my mummy for picking out such a pretty place where I may have access to Italian gelato every day I want. ^^)

Last week I also went for a two-day Music Theatre course. It was very enjoyable, and I learned about impulse, motivation, and how to lead into a musical number. I kind of died when it came to the musical number itself (I am an ambitious little shit and I attempted the first part of No Good Deed from Wicked.), and went into THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA mode. Here I learned about points of focus (Look at the Grimmerie when you’re reciting the incantations, pass your fingers above the Grimmerie to absorb its magic. Translate it into English and send the spell over to Fiyero through your fingers. He’s over there, over the hills, far away, and he’s getting tortured, and if you don’t save him he’ll die. And you have to save him, because he’s the only person who’s ever loved you.), and also that one must never bring a score with many key changes and tempo changes in as an audition piece. It was such a tiring process (it’s tiring to be frantic, desperate, distraught, frustrated, and cynical, all within about a minute and forty-five seconds, and to repeat frantic, desperate, distraught, and frustrated within a minute and ten seconds about three or four times after that.) that I plopped on bed directly after dinner, and had three hours of undisturbed sleep.

I think I lost the ability to project my chest voice. Shit.

Sunday I tried this thing called baklava, a Greek dessert, at C3 Bayside (South Melbourne), after the aptly themed My Big Fat Greek Sermon (this week’s 40 Days of Prayer and Fasting theme was about Community). It was very very very sweet. It’s made out of pastry and crushed nut paste and honey, and even though I was hungry when I got there, one piece (two bites in one piece) satisfied about half my appetite. I thought to myself, “Horrid horror, the only thing that’s this sweet is caramel. And I’m fasting on it!” but it didn’t contain caramel, thankfully. I don’t mind trying it again actually ^^.

Monday’s lecture about Neuroscience and The Brain was very interesting because we got to see Maureen’s MRI scans. The conversation went something like… (conversation approximated. I’m not a Bookman.)

Maureen: “I had to do an MRI some years back because I fainted in class. I woke up in the middle of a hospital, and a doctor asked me, ‘What’s your name?’ and I said ‘I don’t know.’, he asked me where I worked and I didn’t know… eventually I heard ‘Give her an MRI’ and I was like ‘Shit, they don’t give you an MRI straight away’…”
Me: “Wait, wait. You couldn’t remember your name or where you worked, and you remembered what an MRI was?”
Maureen: “Yes, because I’ve been teaching it for so many years.”
(later)
Maureen: “These are my MRI scans, as you can see they scan the brain in layers.”
Me (thinking aloud): “That looks like Darth Vader.”
Maureen: “Excuse me, but you’re talking about my BRAIN here.”
(I could only do the following because I was sitting in front)
Me: “Yes, you see, that one looks like Darth Vader.”
Maureen: “Why yes, it does look like Darth Vader! *points* and I think that these two look like two little people. It seems there’re little people living in my head.”
-
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I like Psychology.

I also went for my first fencing session, which was quite fun. I fought three and won one. I also rediscovered my love for refereeing (because it’s fun to yell things in French).

Tuesday was Drama, and I regrettably did horribly (by my standards) because I had to cleave my actions down to two minutes, and I was lost in the middle because of what I’d removed. I got a 7/10, which was horrible (by my friends’ standards too), and particularly insulting because the second last person to go (I was the first, because the original first person was very late) had a performance lasting five minutes and ten seconds, and she got a 7/10 too. I’m just happy this wasn’t graded, otherwise I’d have freaked out and gone into ZETSUBOUSHITAAAAAAAAAA.

I got down to seriously finishing my Media and Communications assignment, after a period of rather manic information collection. It was very hard to pick a title, and I only picked one just before sending the article in for printing (Shooting The Moon [has a nice ring to it, and sounds like something Sensei would do]). But the overall layout was fine, in my opinion, though I wonder how much I’ll get, since I hear Cephas presents strong competition. (People mistook his actual article for his model article!)

On Tuesday night I got rather sidetracked also, and came up with an adorable .gif introduction for my Psychology presentation, despite the fact that I wasn’t exactly in charge of that area. But it was positively adorable. No one’s said anything against it :3 You shall not see it here, because it does not loop. Maybe I’ll give a URL to follow next week or something.

Wednesday was… Wednesday. Not a lot to say about it really.

Except… I learned the pelvic thrust. I don’t know how, but I just did.
1) Lean back. Ensure you stand with your knees bent so the thrust looks more prominent.
2) Position your hands, based on self-preference.
3) Very quickly, and very strongly, contract posterior muscles. Relax at first possible opportunity.
4) Enjoy shocked, mentally traumatized expressions on faces of people around you.

Thursday was awesome because I’d to print the article, and when it came out I was so moved by the pure beauty of seeing it in A3 and with such beautiful ink. But two bloody grains of fried rice had to come and kill rather small bits of it, which was very sad. Also the Turkish bread I was planning to finish that night went moldy. But besides that it was fun, having dinner. I sat in a rather manly way, if I might say so myself, and Joyce came over and concluded it was indecent. She proceeded to do her very best to get me into a suitably feminine position, and I asked her, “What do you think this is? My freaking Fair Lady?” and she said yes. A rather interesting scene where she attempted to place my legs together and crossed ensued, which ended up with me wrapping my legs around the back of the chair. She tipped the chair over and got me off though. :<

I called Naomi and Prisia and Tereza and Yi Yun to inform them of my impending return. I slept at 4.30 in the morning because of it, and also because of my rabid consumption of cappuccino flavoured biscuit rolls, which cleaned out half the tin in a day.

Yesterday, I got to EAP five minutes late, proving to myself once and for all that I can still cover nearly 2km in 15 minutes with my sling-bag flapping along behind me. We had Cadbury Easter eggs, for reasons I can’t really understand. But oh well.

And I want to watch Slumdog Millionaire.
I’ve started drawing on the back of my foolscap paper again. Today I drew a little cat standing at the foot of a lamppost, with the first four lines of Memory beside it. I’ll probably end up having Phantom of the Opera and Wicked and Avenue Q on it eventually. Which scenes, I’ll worry about later.
Fencing was fun. More refereeing, and I only had one electronic bout, which I lost 9-10. I was quite proud of myself though, and I have a couple of people now who I've promised to fence. ^^

I learned VCA's very hard to get into, particularly for Music Theatre. If that's the case, I'll just have to fight harder, sing louder, sing stronger, believe, react, adapt. And of course, work with Stephan Faubel and Jack and Rosemary and the other Drama teachers. If I can get a place in Grease I figure it'll look good.

On another note...

I have a pretty tidy long list of things I want to do when I get back, will the readers of this blog please feed me with more items to put on it? :3

The previous week. LONG POST BUT LOTS OF PICTARS.

2009-03-12T04:23:00.001-07:00

I apparently have six days of news to report. Lemme get this done…
SATURDAY
I went shopping and bought a black shirt and a black/white-striped shirt. (The stereotypical mime one.) I also bought my first non-lolita dress in eight years. And you can has picture of dress.

Anyway, after that I returned home and had dinner. Everyone was talking about going to the Moomba Waterfest because there’d be fireworks. So I decided to go too (FIREWORKS :D), and… ah… personal stylist. ^^;

I objected violently at first because I felt a bit like this…

But after a while it was fine, and I could hold out for about two or three hours without putting my jacket on. Not that I’ll do it very often – that was the first time I’d worn sleeveless in four years. (It holds strong memories of Kong Hwa, sleeveless clothes. Of how I felt then, of all the times I felt helpless and stripped of all opportunity to fight back…thank goodness it’s over.)
I won an orange Scorchio, which you shall see shortly.

Ten minutes of fireworks was awesome, but after that my arms hurt like crazy from holding my camera up. I must say I’m really impressed at the stability, but that’s probably just me kissing my own ass. XD
My feet hurt like crazy after the waterfest. We got home at about 1 or 2am, and I was wearing ballet flats a smidge too small. Bad choice, but I had no idea we were going to be walking for about six hours either. ><>~*~*~cosplay list~*~*~(pictars in order)
1) Orochimaru (PERFECT IT)

2) Yuki Nagato (It will be most rushed indeed.)
3) Komui Lee
4) Sebastian Michaelis (FOREGROUND FIGURE. nakama’s doing Grell Sutcliffe, so she wants me to be Sebby. I wonder if I’ll butcher him… it’s pretty much decided already, isn’t it? Good luck XD)
5) Uchiha Itachi (I don’t have to do anything to my hair :D)
6) AUXILLARY: Suigetsu Hozuki (FIGURE TO THE LEFT. smexyyyyyyy :3)
7) AUXILLARY: Cross Marian (THE SLEEVES. THE SLEEVESSSSSS)

MONDAY
Today I found out my mentor was Jane Garton, my EAP teacher. Admittedly I wanted Maureen Vincent (fine, she doesn’t look that much like Palin now), or Janusz Sysak (He’s such a nice guy!) or Stephan Faubel (DRAMA :D)
During lunch there was a poster sale, so I went and bought a poster from The Godfather and one from Blue Harvest. It was only after I took the Blue Harvest poster out that I found that there was a poster with only Stewie Griffin on it. Dang. But oh well, the Blue Harvest one was pretty. And I'll show you the Inuyasha poster too, for good measure.

Also today after class I went for a kendo session, and while the sword’s not much heavier than a foil, it was much taller. The grip was pretty strong too. The kiai was especially fun to do, and I found it rather fun bowing to the kendo sensei. (What a strange concept of fun, you say. But I haven’t gone after you for saying you found calculus exciting and intriguing either.) I couldn’t stand on my toes very well though, which was sad. (My future in high heels → dead) We did mostly just the Jogeburi, which was quite boring, but the kiai saved the day and made it all so much more fun :D
But midway into kendo, I heard voices in the next room, and soon a girl who looked about Truth’s age ran in and checked us out for a while and left.
This would’ve been perfectly acceptable and normal for me, if it wasn’t for the fact that the girl was wearing a fencing jacket and a lame.
“Shit,” the voice in my head said, and it was then that I started to realise that I couldn’t join kendo after all.
So yup, I’m going for fencing after all. Nothing for me to lose by not joining kendo, I guess. ☺

TUESDAY
Drama. Was, predictably, very fun. However the rest of the day I was in and out of consciousness because I woke up with a sharp pain in my shoulder/neck intersection. Shall refer to books before attempting Jogeburi next time. And hence I have nothing to report.

Except for the fact that I loved my dress sense that day. At last, I could use my pocket watch to my advantage. I think it'll be a trend from here on out for me that I dress especially interestingly on Tuesdays. (I don't really like that last photo of me there, but it's the only decent one I could find of my overcoat.)

WEDNESDAY
I had lunch with my nakama today. I had two cooked salmon onigiri, which disintegrated rather un-satisfyingly in my hands after I didn’t hold it like a squirrel would, and I had chocolate hedgehog. After that I drank one can of V (over the can I already drank before Lit tutorial), I opened the Gate of Rest and the Gate of Life, and I chionged home to get my stuff. I was five minutes late for EAP, but I was still safe, thank goodness.
After school, thanks to the insane caffeine fixes I had in the morning, I had to go buy chocolate milk in an attempt to neutralise the caffeine. I realised there that there wasn’t much of a choice, so I bought a 350 ml bottle of milk and drank it right there.
After buying Famous and Marie Claire in my endeavours at completing my Media and Communications graded assignment, I finally found the answer to my prayers for a model essay in the form of OK! Magazine. The moment I came in and started reading it Sze Earn was like “Why’d you get this?! It has no format, how’re you going to find a model article in here?” But I did, and it was an article on Jessica Biel. I talked with Sensei for a bit about how I’d go about this, and after a brief dissection of the article on my part for myself, I went to sleep at 1am. (A disgusting time, but if you think about the caffeine I consumed…)

THURSDAY
I woke up at 8.21, which is a horrible time to wake up. I finished everything I had to do as fast as I could, grabbed my bag, and chionged out of my room to Media and Comm.
I pretty much know what I want to do already for Media and Comm, now what I need to do is throw the keropok in the oil and watch it grow bigger. (Dare I throw the keropok in? The oil is hot and bubbling.) (Oh the metaphors.)
After class I went home, and realised my keys were on the shelf. Hooray. I lost five dollars, because unlocking your room costs that much. =.=
Things were better afterwards because I finished the tutorial worksheet in Maths. We’re starting on Functions now, which by right I’m supposed to know, but the thing is they’ve translated everything into mathematical terms, and it doesn’t make sense anymore. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
I met Feras, Michelle and Ding Zhi for our EAP project today. All of us were late. XD I managed to finish my KFC Snack Box before they got to our meeting place, but when everyone was met, we were surprisingly productive. It was different from what I was used to in Cedar, where we’d talk and laugh for a bit about our daily lives, but nonetheless this was refreshingly efficient. (A little too straight to the point, but it had its good points.) We got things done in about an hour. It was awesome.
After that I went to Safeway and bought white chocolate muesli bars, a couple packs of Tim Tam, apple juice, and two cartons of milk. (At last, apple juice. At last, things I can grab and eat.)
…So that’s my week. Yup.
Oh, and for Amelia…

The overexposed badge is simply a red badge with the kanji "ai" on it, and the word LOVE below.

2009-03-06T08:11:00.001-08:00

To save my internet again, here I am on Word. Again.
…I think this is going to become a habit.
Anyhow so today I had EAP, which wasn’t particularly of note. Then I had lunch at KFC, and after that I went off to Animasia on Grattan (where there seems to be nothing wrong, contrary to what I heard recently) and had a nice long chat about anime with a girl called Tamara. And I shall be linking her here. :D
After that I went home, and on the way back I had a spot of Il Freddo Dolce, where I finally found out for myself why Roche was such a well-received flavour, and now I am cursed to take three flavours every time I go there from now on. (Biscuit, Freddo Surprise, Roche. Count them.)
After putting down my stuff at home I took my Maths books and went off for Maths tutorial. I reached half an hour early, and taught various people how to operate the Skittles dispenser without dropping Skittles everywhere. I also freaked one person out by telling him that I liked Black Sabbath. (I do!)
During tutorial we did this thing called free association, where one person says one word and the next person says the first word to pop into their head when hearing the word. We started off with the word “Maths”, and everyone was terribly adherent to that word, until the person before me said “Computers”, upon which I happily said “Final Fantasy”.
After that we played the game where we had to count to 20 (how do I describe this properly…), and after that we had to pair up and introduce ourselves to the person next to us (name, intended degree, best moment in life), and the person would have to introduce us to the whole class.
“Her name is Faith, she comes from Singapore, she wants to do Music Theatre in university, and the best moment of her life was when she cosplayed Orochimaru.”
A large collective “OH” ensued, performed by everyone in the room, save for the tutor and a few more clueless people. I was rather happy to see everyone’s expressions, I think I’m developing a taste for seeing everyone’s expressions when they’re shocked, disturbed, disgusted and in awe, all at the same time.
“Who’s that?” asked the tutor.
“Don’t bother looking for him, you’ll get a heart attack.” I said.
I spent the whole lesson finishing the exercises from page 13 to 19, and a little bit of the homework. I’m now on the extremely painful part where you can only solve things by long division. Shall finish that tomorrow after shopping.
After Maths, I went off with Phaik Yie (BRIEF INTRODUCTION: a cosplayer from Singapore who shares Media&Comm and Psychology lectures with me.) to Swanston Street to window shop. I ended up buying two badges of The Beatles (one of the Beatles logo, one of them walking on Abbey Road), one of Black Sabbath (the purple words BLACK SABBATH on black), and a generic black one with white text saying SINGER. (They were expensive, but hey, it’s The Beatles.)
And we travelled further to a shop where they sold soaps and bath fizzes and things. It smelled good, but it was extremely strong, and after that we went to a shop called Deborah K, where I gave in to the nagging voices in my head and bought a studded belt for $10 and a black shirt with skulls on the left chest and sleeve for $12.
After that, I went off to meet my brother and Uncle Scott. We had Chinese food, and the black pepper beef was extremely tender, while I found no favour with the sweet and sour pork and lemon chicken. Suckling pig was quite so very fine, but I still liked the black pepper beef best of all. After that we went walking around, and while I didn’t buy anything, I definitely saw a lot of things I did want to buy.
So that was my day. And today I shall be attending Psychology, shopping and hanging Inu/Kikyou up. :D

2009-03-04T01:18:00.000-08:00

I couldn't find the person I wanted to find today, because I got lost, and by the time I found myself at the conservatory (I heard orchestral music! I felt so much like I was in the Nodame universe. *____*) it was near dark, and obviously most of the people had gone home, so I'll try again tomorrow.

Also I couldn't find the Fencing Club today D:

I went to the sports expo, and their table was completely empty.

I asked the Kendo Club people, and they said the fencing club was there two minutes ago. Oh well.

Today I got some insight into the wonderful world of Kendo ^_______^

They have the kendo weapon, which is basically a bamboo sword held with two hands. I thought it was sheathed with an actual weapon, but apparently that's only a figment of my imagination. XD

Me: "How heavy is the kendo sword anyway?"

(I think his name was Richard): "I'm carrying the female kendo sword, which is lighter than the one for males."

Me: *looks intently*

Richard (I think): "By competition standards, the female kendo sword is 490g, and the male kendo sword is 510g."

Me: "...That's easy! In fencing, foil is 500g, one hand."

(And now I know why during the demonstration I was told that it wasn't supposed to hurt unless your opponent hit really hard.)

They have their non-armour uniforms, which are basically the shirt part of kimonos, and then they have their hakama (skirt pants. Not skirts.) (Did I mention I really like hakama? They look really pretty ^^.)

And then...the armour. They have the waist guards, which look fine and usually bear the name of the association they're from, and sometimes their names too. And they have the chest protector, which in essence isn't too far off from the fencing ones, except they cover the stomach too, and they're black, shiny, and have interesting designs. (They're the outermost layer though, unlike in fencing, where you have the plastron, jacket and lame over it.) And then they have the mask, which is this rather showy thing as compared to the fencing mask. Quite pretty, but you have to use a bandana or something of the sort to cover the top of your head before you use it. They also have these mittens, which don't seem too far off from fencing gloves, because the forearms are targets too.

You have to stand with your right leg a little way in front of your left leg, regardless of handedness. It's apparently better for you if you travel on your toes, because it's faster. The demonstration was on concrete flooring though, so they had to keep their shoes on and I didn't see the speed at which they could travel on foot. Kendo matches are always conducted barefoot, I heard.

And you have to have battle cries to show the strength of your spirit. It's terribly entertaining to watch people when they do this because it sounds exactly like anime. The first thing that came into my head when I watched them do it was Reno attempting to attack Cloud during FFVII: AC (Reno: "URYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" *misses*). Apparently to score points you must not only hit cleanly, but at the same time, you must yell along with your hit, and only then will you receive one point.

It looked really embarrassing to do out in the open in front of so many people, but at the same time it looked like a lot of fun.

Well. I'll be joining that then. :D

And the name of my kendo sword... it shall be Celeste Anima (Blue Soul/Blue Spirit). Because I named my foil in Japanese, my kendo sword shall be done in Italian. ^_____^

lines and rust

2009-03-03T03:38:00.000-08:00

I wanted to show you guys what I wore today...

But it is, alas, not meant to be.

For on my way to school this morning, it rained on my pride and joy (my Nodame bag), and in a desperate bid to protect my pride and joy, I turned my bag over, so as to protect the keys, the lines of which rather gracefully smudged onto my shirt, just a little.

For during History of Ideas today (Janusz is quite so very interesting.) I sat next to a seat with a broken pull-out table, where only the metal rod remained. The metal rod, so full of rust and dirt, which soiled the left sleeve of my shirt.

Curses.

All you shall know of it then, was that it was completely inspired by the collective efforts of Road Kamelot (ribbon and white collared shirt), Gogo Yubari (skirt, done in red plaid), and Emily the Strange (stockings and black Converses). Please liberally use your imagination - I was so proud of what I'd thrown together *happytears*

I'm under the head of Drama, which puts me in a good position to ask about music theatre. I'm going to seek out a certain teacher from the Arts Centre tomorrow, which will put me in a better position to ask about music theatre. I'll be attending a music theatre course from the 20th to the 21st, which will put me in a beautiful position to learn about music theatre.

I can't wait :3

And I want to pick a nice auspicious day to go out in butler (with my spare white collared shirt, with cufflinks). Suggest? :33333

*poof*

sunday

2009-03-01T06:25:00.000-08:00

I’ll save my Internet today and do this post on Microsoft Word instead. It’s easier than navigating the evil Internet today any way, right now it’s far too slow for my Nerd-Grade Consumption.

Anyway today I got up nice and early at the beautiful time of 9.45 to prepare for my first day in my new church, i.e. Christian City Church, Bayside (South Melbourne Campus). It’s a pretty new branch, and it opened six months back, so it’s pretty small and is mostly composed of families and people in their twenties. I figure I’m either the only teenager there, or there’s only one other teenager there, but nonetheless I felt pretty at home.
The first person I met was the usher, Beth. Admittedly the ushers here don’t give the same infectious atmosphere as those in Heart of God Church, but this being a small congregation, they had the time to get to know as many people as possible, and that day, I sat next to Beth. I also met the pastor, and at this point I wonder whether I should call him Pastor Aaron, or Pastor Ruff.
I imagine this would feel something like the Henderson period in Heart of God Church; only I wasn’t there to experience that. There were four people in the worship team, one vocalist, one guitarist, one pianist, and one drummer. It was pretty straightforward actually ☺
I was prayed for today by the pastor, in hope that I’ll get into VCA Music Theatre next year. ^^
Service was a little shorter than what I’d gotten used to at HoGC, but nonetheless it carried much meaning to me. I think I’ll join the fast till the 5th of April. It’s not necessarily food we have to give up, they’ve told me – people have given up chocolate and coffee, and the pastor gave up television. In which case, I think I’ll give up caramel. (The Mars bar I bought sits in my drawer… I can already smell it.)

After service I stayed around to talk to a couple more people, including Leanne, Beck, and Heather. Admittedly I cannot remember the names of the rest of them, but I’ll remember them in due course. After that I went off to Spotlight and I bought ribbons in three different colours (black, wine, navy blue), as well as a pack of three gold buttons. When I was done with that, I went and had katsu ramen at the Japanese food store downstairs, which wasn’t that great. (And it splattered. ><) There, I met Phil, who was from C3 too, and we had a bit of a talk about church.

After lunch I bought a pair of red/black-striped stockings from the South Melbourne Market, before going home, where I replaced the buttons on my pajamas and my black overcoat, and had a little nap before going downstairs.

Ten large pizzas soon pranced through the door (their carriers in tow), and the birthday party began. People gathered around as Justin and Stella (who’d had their birthdays in the week) walked in and stood in front of the unopened pizza boxes. Just when we thought Happy Birthday was going to be played, the seventh and eighth bars of the bridal march from A Midsummer Night’s Dream were played, and much laughter ensued, but afterward things went back to normal T^T they did sing the birthday song in Cantonese though, but I couldn’t follow.

And so we had pizza. I had one slice of Margherita pizza, which was quite sad, so I made it up by taking many pieces of chocolate covered pizza instead. ^^

And as for this particular person… I can only express it through this conversation with my cousin...

10:11:30 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: Jayden is weird.

10:11:39 PM aileen: hu is jayDen??

10:11:51 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: your weird classmate lor.

10:12:07 PM aileen: his english name is jayDen a??

10:12:12 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: people call him that.

10:12:19 PM aileen: wahaha..

10:12:22 PM aileen: so funny...

10:12:29 PM aileen: i din ever noe dat he had an english name..

10:12:31 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: lol

10:12:36 PM aileen: hohoho

10:12:56 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: but he's really weird.

10:13:12 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: today people ask him take care of two bags of potato chips while they went out to buy pizza

10:13:26 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: coz we had a birthday party for two people here

10:13:33 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: den hor he got very bored

10:13:54 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: so he sat at the sofa there and started hitting himself on the sides of his head with the potato chip bags.

10:13:54 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: XD

10:14:34 PM aileen: wahaha.. 10:14:36 PM aileen: is it??

10:14:40 PM aileen: realy weird..

10:14:52 PM aileen: mayb he jus feel too stressed??hohoho

10:14:55 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: maybe XD

10:15:14 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: but den juz now he took the hot water from his hot water flask and tried to steam his pimple XD

10:15:19 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: it looked damn funny.

10:15:58 PM aileen: hohoho

10:16:26 PM aileen: when he was here he nvr had such a weird behaviour leh..

10:16:30 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: lol

10:16:35 PM aileen: quite suprise,,

10:16:40 PM UNTOUCHEABLE| i hate feeling useless.: maybe you never saw

So there you have it, the strange man called Jayden. Please observe with great interest his strange antics in all their strangeness.

After the party and the insanity, laundry ensued. In the middle of this, I found out that Stella bought weighing scales today, and so out of pure interest, I proceeded to use them.

…

48 kg.

I don’t believe I’ll get another chance to use that thing in quite a while now, the way I made Stella feel. But if that’s how heavy I am, it’s not necessarily a good thing. Perhaps part of the muscle mass I built up has changed back to mush… ack. Better get back to fencing ASAP before I start having to dodge the next time someone stabs me in training (I hate it when people stab me where it hurts. The stomach, I could handle, because the stomach muscles were building. Now, however…ehehe). Nonetheless it was good to know that I hadn’t grown at all.

(That came out wrong, didn’t it?)

But yay, laundry's done for today, and now there's a big fat pile of it just sitting on my bed. (Less big and less fat, though, than when the jeans and shirts and skirts were jumbled up with it too.)

It might look like there's a shinigami kimono thrown around somewhere in there, but there isn't. I wish I had that much luggage space the day I came over (and that I could've thrown Orochimaru's costume in too with my checked baggage).

Oh well, off to do the last of the laundry. Ja.

never. put faith. in a fecking race. again.

2009-02-27T22:54:00.000-08:00

exactly what it says on the title.

how delusional i am to think i can get 500 mb more a month for the next four months just by running. my leg still hurts from my muscle pull so long back, i can't run at all, my stamina is shit.

that was delusional of me, and i should have gone for maths just like i said i would. what's $60 to me anyway?

all that sadness, all that frustration, only to be named second last.

i ran, stopped, walked, cried, for nothing.

it was delusional.

and i shouldn't have done it.

what the hell was i thinking...

and what kind of a question is "can you run later?"

let's see the prospects of either answer.

"yes i can" = more pain and suffering on my side = my inability to run = team loses epicly

"no i can't" = no pressure = team comes after my blood = my inability to run = team loses epicly

As Long As You're Mine

2009-02-27T06:23:00.000-08:00

ELPHABA
Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreamings
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me

And just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some border line
And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

FIYERO
Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell

BOTH
Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time

FIYERO
Say there's no future
For us as a pair

BOTH
And though I may know
I don't care
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I'll be here holding you
As long as you're mine

FIYERO
(spoken)
What is it?

ELPHABA
(spoken)
It's just, for the first time,
I feel... wicked

(squee, this song's been stuck in my head for a while, next to no good deed.)

incoherent post

2009-02-27T05:34:00.000-08:00

THERE EXISTS A CUBIC FORMULA :D

W3ANIME HITLIST:

- Azumanga Daioh

- Code Geass/R2

- Black Lagoon

- Darker Than Black

- Gokusen

- Noir

- Rozen Maiden/Traumend/Ouverture

- Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei/Zoku

- Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu

- Lucky Star

I'm going for a music theatre workshop in mid-March! It make VCA application look nice nice :3 and I want to meet the woman from the Opera division in Trinity College's conservatory again. I think it'd be cool to have a sensei in voice too. XD

I can has three octaves soon ^^. I tried to sing Phantom of the Opera, and I could do both Christine's and Phantom's parts, up till the second last note. The last note, I have issues with. On the bright side, the back of my head doesn't hurt anymore when I attempt the C two octaves above middle C. :D (And last year it pulled like mad when I tried to do Angels by Within Temptation. I can do that now, but it isn't as strong as Miss den Andel's, of course.)

NEW GOALS FOR THE YEAR:

- heal right leg (what kind of a goal is this... but I want it to happen lah.)

- complete >3 octaves. (beyond is wonderful)

- increase strength

- learn belts

- finish splits (left, right, middle. in that order perhaps, so the right leg can heal first.)

- VCA music theatre!

- whistle register/vocal fry

- college musical

- pectoral muscles XD

- opera division sensei

- horizontal bar (>3 rounds)

ore-sama has made it to the 65th class of the 78 english for academic purpose classes (ie. 13th best class, if the rumours about classes are true. which will not be good because it will mean she has lost to あの人 by one class.)

Today someone I didn't know came up to me and told me she really liked my Nodame bag, and that she'd actually pay for such a bag. I told her it wasn't that hard, really, and that I didn't really try hard (if I did I'd pull an all-nighter, and I know this because I remember the times I stayed up doing my best to remember certain things in certain books). She told me that perhaps I could make money doing this (I'm not good at business, anyhow, but that was a serious compliment imo). For a brief moment, I felt special.

I know quite a few people have told me my Nodame bag was nice, and I know it is, because I created it out of a Borders bag, and it's one of the few things I can say I did all by myself without anyone telling me exactly how to do it (beyond the fact that I took a couple of reference pictures and that someone on dA gave me the idea of using masking tape to cover the accidentals).

For so long I've done my best with my white fabric paint, my hairdryer and my permanent marker, to cover every microscopic detail, to remove every last trace of lint (there's still some stuck under the paint), to make every line that defines the keys as straight as human hands can get them, and yet every time I'm never satisfied.

But for now, just for this moment... I'll sit and smile up at my bag. For all its shortcomings, all its painted-over lint that I'll never be able to remove, for my unstable hands and the tiny marker smudges on the sides of the keys, for the obvious texture discrepancies. For this is my bag, no one else's. And I made it, all by myself.

Today there was a man from the Socialist Alternative association who tried to convert me to socialism by listing all the shortcomings of capitalism, how it made the rich richer and the poor poorer, how it oppressed cultures.

I gave him my best Kafuka Fuura face.

I stared into his eyes, and gave him my honest opinion as a member of a country known by everyone but its own people as an extremely repressive state. After what seemed like fifteen minutes of his sincere staring into my eyes, and mine into his, and our carrying of a surprisingly intelligent conversation about the state of the world today, he gave in, for he couldn't bring me to understand his side of the story at all. (He definitely isn't going to give up his socialist and communist views though. "It seems socialism is not for you," he told me.) Though I did appreciate his alternative viewpoint, and I told him so.

The newsletter I bought from him, filled with hopes and dreams for a socialist/communist world, sits on my table, and I haven't gone beyond the second page yet. Communism seems like a perfect method of governance to children, perhaps, until one realises that the system is meant to govern humans. In a robocracy perhaps it would work, because robots cannot feel. But in the human world, humans feel greed. They feel the desire to be better than others, they feel envy and jealousy, and it is for this reason that human beings cannot be absolutely equal, and that communism cannot function properly. I didn't tell him that, though I did tell him, that if the world was completely under one form of government, the world would be extremely boring, and that people in different countries are governed differently because they behave differently.

mmmmmmmm too much thinking. Sleepytime.

so if you care to find me, look to the western sky

2009-02-19T03:29:00.000-08:00

And now, Naomi, you know where to meet me.

Before that, of course, I'll widen my range, since I want to reach four complete octaves by the time I'm over with university. And of course my strength needs work. I don't think dragging's a problem, but I'll improve on that too. And I most definitely need help with belting. (Yes Mr Sng, I never did manage to forget that you called me "small" when I was fourteen.)

The dresses are awesome, and the cape is pretty ^_____^ I think it'll definitely be fun to do this with Naomi, from What Is This Feeling (loathing, unadulterated loathing) through to For Good (that song makes me want to cry TwT). Defying Gravity will be major love, and I think I'll have to stop myself from laughing during Popular.

I wonder what it's like to catfight with Naomi. XD

(On a side note, makeup's going to take forever.)

An Inconvenient Man (an intellectual post.)

2009-02-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

I'm completely sold now, on the idea that global warming isn't caused by human beings.

As history dictates and fiction mirrors, leaders (both good and bad) exert their influence on people, thereby bonding them with a common vision and mission. Very often this also involves giving the people under them a common enemy.

Barack Obama leads by extolling change, thus for the Americans, the common enemy is the previous administration.

Adolf Hitler, famed now for his mass extermination of European Jews, had a strong and united Germany, willing to live and die for the Third Reich.

The Archbishop, leader of the Christian world, unites the Christians in not only exalting and serving God, but also in deriding Satan and his ways.

For those who read Wicked, the Wizard of Oz used Animals (and later, Elphaba) as the common enemy, and as such he controlled the Ozians well.

And for High School Musical fans, Troy led the East High Wildcats to victory by giving them the West High Knights as a common enemy.

As one can see, leaders everywhere need common enemies (read: WAR ON TERROR).

And so does Al Gore.

Al Gore's leadership is a unique one. Like the examples here, his leadership does indeed have a common enemy - ourselves.

And as such, the villain of this story never goes away. It never disappears, and it can never be vanquished. Hitler may have, if he was extremely zealous and got many more people and much more technology in on it, actually removed completely the Jews of Europe. Obama may end up completely revolutionising the American ways of government. Wildcats might crush the Knights into the ground, never for them to rise once more. Elphaba died. And one day, maybe the works of Satan may be annihilated in the presence of God.

But for the leadership of Gore, the common enemy will never perish. For any and every organism on this planet that lives and breathes is an enemy. Anything that can respire (CO2), that can fart (CH4), burp, pee, shit, and/or decompose, they are all enemies.

That includes youuuuuu, Mister Polar Bear. Stop clinging to your summer iceberg and drown yourself now, you don't deserve to live.

That also includes youuuuu, Mister Tree. That's right, when you decompose you release greenhouse gases into the air too. I'd ask you not to die, but your leaves fall and those decompose anyway.

Don't even get me started on our basic needs. If I were to follow this climate change shebang completely, I would curse the day Thomas Alva Edison gave us the gift of the incandescent lightbulb. Why didn't he make it environmentally friendly? Why did he make it at all? Look at the disgusting mess it's put us in! I would sleep at night without air conditioning (CHLOROFLUOROCARBONS OHNOES!), or even a fan (FOSSIL FUELS, PEOPLE. FOSSIL FUELS!), and I would kena mosquito bites all over my body, not that I don't already have them. I would go to school and use a quill pen (markers are made in factories, which burn fossil fuels, and so are ballpoint pens, gel pens, and pencils, and most other stationery), I would use ink (As if it wasn't inconvenient enough, OH HEAVENS NO, making ancient India Ink means burning tar! Think of the greenhouse gases!), and I would write on papyrus. And what are Twisties and nachos and potato chips? Come to think of it, I'd have died of hunger by then, because you can't so much as light a fire without carbon dioxide going into the air.

I won't even bother continuing on that.

In any case, there's evidence it's not our fault.

Solar activity is at a high now. Models created to predict climate on our planet from the sun’s activity show that the planet will continue to cool over the next 500 years with sporadic periods of warming. In addition, the sun has shown very few sunspots so far this year and the Earth’s northern hemisphere recorded record cold and frozen precipitation.

For people who didn't bother to read that...

WE'RE COOLING DOWN.

Further proof... the Antarctic ice caps are growing, so you don't have to worry about the sea level rising and destroying the world. Just look at this.

Also, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Neptune's moon, and Pluto have all been experiencing signs of global warming, none of which have been set foot on (defiled?) by human presence. And if they're having global warming, then we're really not the issue here, are we?

And what are carbon credits for anyway? They look more like a feel-good mechanism to me, there doesn't seem to be a place for all that money you're giving away to go to, other than into pockets of guilt trippers of course.

Now I'm not going to deride environmentalists and call them stupid or misguided or anything. They're very free to believe that the world is in great epic danger, and that we're going to all die, and it's all our fault (and theirs too, no matter how hard they try). I'm not going to be defeatist and tell everyone that there's no point saving energy by buying eco-bags, or using energy-efficient light-bulbs and air-conditioners, or taking three-minute cold showers, or recycling waste, or never ever using plastic bags, since we're still breathing, farting, burping, passing biological waste, and hence are still an issue. I'm not going to tell people that they should kill themselves to decrease the world population for the greater good of retarding climate change.

I'm going to not care, because there's enough proof out there for me to say global warming isn't really my fault (3-5% perhaps, if you want to be anal, but seriously). If I save the environment over the course of my life, like by buying a Borders bag or that disgustingly expensive Anya Hindmarch bag that says "I'm not a Plastic Bag" (how irritating), I most probably won't be doing it consciously, and if it makes my environmentalist acquaintances happy, good for them.

And a final note before I finish this... the environmentalists may be following their plans to save the world, but their leader sure isn't.

2009-02-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

The first and second days of school were painful and boring for the most part.

But thank goodness the intro lecture by Sarah Palin (I shall be calling the Psychology professor that from now on - except for the hair they could be twins) was good.

I shall be wanting to take the following subjects...

ENGLISH

- LITERATURE

- DRAMA

- ENGLISH FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES

HISTORY OF IDEAS (ADVANCED)

PSYCHOLOGY

MATHS 1

MEDIA AND COMMUNICATIONS.

Ohyes. ^^

Still not inspired to take pictures of my pad. Oh well ^_____^

No good deed goes unpunished

2009-02-10T23:27:00.000-08:00

It's one more day of happiness and freedom, and the sun is setting on this one more day.

Today I watched Wicked.

The performance of No One Mourns The Wicked nearly made me cry, and I have officially begun fangirling over Fiyero. ("He's distant and moodified, and he's been thinking, which really worries me." - Glinda on Fiyero)

I now understand so much more why Mr Sng opposes so vehemently against the hole that drama of Singapore is in.

It discouraged me a little to see that Melbourne was so far ahead of Singapore, but I guess it was a matter of taking one step back and three steps forward.

Singapore theatre needs to be saved.

By our generation.

By someone.

Someone like...God forbid! Some of us are born great, some become great, some of us have greatness thrust upon us... *is shot for narcissism*

But besides that rather narcissistic point, I loved the show. The effects were amazing, sound rather well done, orchestra didn't miss a single beat, and I totally understood where the politics and historical distortions were coming from. It was a beautiful, beautiful show, and the cast had such strong voices. (I was particularly disturbed for a brief moment during The Wizard and I, because Elphaba's voice was resonating across the entire hall.)

If you ever, ever, come across the Melbourne production, or the American one, if you are ever so fortunate, or the West End one... heck, if you come across any of them (that has a reputation for good drama, ie. not Singapore [yet]), GO WATCH IT.

That be all.

And when I can be bothered to, I shall post pictures of my college pad, and I shall tell you about my hostelmates (especially the ones I congregate and 'thon with around 9pm on).

A prayer

2009-02-04T04:07:00.000-08:00

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit,

I come before you today, in the hope that You may give Coco more time here, with us, especially with my brother Worth, and my sister Earth.

I thank You for letting her come thus far, from her infancy, to the day we received her, to the day she survived the car crash and did not need the amputation on her hind leg. I thank You that she need not be put down at this point, that even when my mother told Coco's original owner "让她睡吧" (Let her sleep), You saved her from such a fate, and allowed her to regain some life in the presence of Earth and Auntie Thandar.

I pray, firstly, that should she receive a skin graft, that every operation on her be successful, and that no casualty will result, and secondly, that should she be coming home for good, that she lives out her days with the least pain, and the most happiness possible.

I no longer hate and despise the car that ran over her that day, that threw us into the predicament my family suffers now. It was not the driver's fault, but the work of Satan, that gave the car that final move towards her.

But I know my sister loves Coco with all her heart, despite how Coco's big appetite has troubled us so, and how her constant harassment for food has irritated us at times. My sister has always held a candle to Coco, always tried to protect Coco from all the consequences that Coco's little antics brought on her. For her I pray for strength and the will to live in Coco, that her life may be extended further longer, and that her health deteriorates no longer, that she need not be put to sleep.

I myself love Coco, despite my aversion to her licks and her sniffing my bare skin, and though admittedly I favour Ruski over Coco, it would be strange to not see that familiar face scuttle up to me and demand a stroke, or a pet, or to shake my hand. For that, I also pray Coco's life may be extended, that I may see her again even after my departure to Trinity College.

You once said "Let the weak say 'I am strong'," and it is in the faith of this statement that I pray You give her strength to carry on. To live a fuller life than that she already lives, and to keep us company for a longer time. I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Let me, with this power, speak life into Coco's life, that she'll live through this, exceedingly, abundantly, above all, against all odds.

But Lord, if you cannot do this, let Your will be done. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and if the unthinkable happens, at least let her go happy. Let her have the best last days a dog can have, let her be as happy as she can be. I myself do not wish for her to go any time soon, but if she must return to Your kingdom, she must.

I pray all this in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Breaking Off (And Settling In) - The Goodbye (And The Hello)

2009-02-02T06:58:00.000-08:00

I feel more blessed than ever.

I remember on Friday the last person I talked to before going to the airport was Sensei.

I went in the shirt I wore on my first day as an intern, and I wore my Cedar tie as a sign of my allegiance. (I'm never going to use it again as an actual part of a uniform, but it makes a rather decent fashion statement.)

All the IB (Insane Brigade) people were there, aside from Penelope and Shanice (who were undoubtedly there in spirit), and so were Fedora, Yuan Jun, and many many people from my class.

My class people went off to eat shortly after I met them, but that they were there at all already was a blessing in itself.

FROM LEFT: Ojou-sama, Tereza, Fedora, yours truly, Prisia, Naomi, Yuan Jun

There's another picture I took, but I was so hurried I just rannnn... and it was sickeningly blurred. I'll put them on FB soon.

(I can see the headlines now, FLIPPED TIE TOTALLY SPOILS ATMOSPHERE.)

Prisia was in, as you may not see here, a red blouse, a necklace, a black skirt, and heels. Thought I might point that out :3

Before my departure I was given many letters, including but not limited to those from Yuan Jun, Han Jun, Le En, Ching Ying, Naomi, Fedora, Samantha, B40 in general. I also got this.

http://winter-ghost.deviantart.com/art/High-Tea-for-Vivi-107509821

4Z gave me a large stack of posters, which I have no idea how to hang in my room. But they will stay in my table at Albert House as a reminder of the love of Zandylanders.

I shall not disclose what Prisia gave me. You shall see later.

I shall continue this tomorrow.

Breaking Off - Last Moments

2009-01-29T06:35:00.000-08:00

Dear friends, so long
Wasurenai kurikaesu deai no naka chiisana kizuato wo
Ryoute ni kakaeteru bokura samayou bakari
Kono hateshinai sekai wo mitsumeru tabibito yo
(Dear friends, so long
In those unforgettable encounters
We used both hands to hug our wounds, Wandering eternally
Attending that limited world, The travelers)

- Yesterday and Today, Do As Infinity

Many things have happened. Nearly all of them lead to the impending end, coming in a little less than eleven hours.

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY

I was in Johor, where I met my relatives. It was a very boring sojourn, and I spent a lot of time binging on prawn rolls and sleeping, mostly out of boredom after watching continuous games of Super Smash Brothers Brawl (to the people who witness them and actually enjoy the battles, you are sick, sick people). When I wasn't sleeping, I was playing with Ciel. The lack of wireless internet was irritating, and so all I could do was play with Ciel, which blossomed into a whole new pursuit in itself, as I began defacing pictures of people (Geneva) on GIMP. Eventually Samantha and my sister caught on, and they started drawing mushrooms and other strange things with Ciel. But mostly mushrooms.

I overdosed on cheese wedges at KFC. Besides the point.

MONDAY

I had my R.O.D with Jingna-sensei on the first day of Chinese New Year. I thought, before going there, that I was really going to cry, and that I really wouldn't be able to stop it if it did come. But I didn't cry, and I went out instead feeling truly blessed having her as my first sensei. And I am, indeed, truly blessed to have her as my first sensei.

Truth went off with Dad, but I didn't cry.

TUESDAY

I took down two of my eight posters. Great progress.
I went to the White House (as my mother calls it) and met my uncle and my cousins. I played with hamsters, a cat, and I ate seven Ferrero Rochers in one sitting, and I had a can of Sprite.

I also had dinner at McDonald's with Fedora (some Last Supper that was XD) and B40, and Fedora engaged in gratitious cam-whoring with my phone. I shall have much to entertain myself.

WEDNESDAY

Penelope, Prisia and Iman came over. Madness ensued. It was sadness that Penelope had to leave early, but at least she came ^^. Prisia and I played Guitar Hero, where she failed at the drums. XD

Then me, Prisia and Iman played Naruto: Clash of Ninja Revolution 2, where I pwned them at first, but they eventually caught up and owned me good. Then Iman left, and Prisia owned me some more, until we changed games to badminton and then had dinner. After dinner Worth played against Prisia and put her back in her place. When I played against Prisia after that, it pretty much invariably resulted in me winning using pure taijutsu. (None of us had time for the special ninjutsu so we madly mashed the taijutsu buttons.) But oh well. That ended too, and I walked with the unfortunately-high-heeled Prisia to the bus stop. (Prisia took off her heels halfway and walked barefooted because she couldn't take the pain. XD)

I finished taking down all my posters and doing most of the packing that night. Also I talked to the only other Cedarian going to Trinity College.

THURSDAY

I went to Waraku in Marina Square for lunch with my 1C/2C friend Xiao Jun. She had cha soba and sushi, and I had my standard katsu curry udon and soft shell crab temaki (neither of which contained vegetables, of course). We both had a calpis soda each. Calpis, for the uninitiated, is carbonated yoghurt water. Mine tasted like alcohol, and I appropriately felt a little drunk afterward.

Xiao Jun and I went to play Let's Go Jungle in the arcade, where we sadly lost at the boss monster. (I SURVIVED LONGER :D) I wanted to play Para Para Paradise 2nd Mix, but Team Ah Lian X (of which I know nothing of) owned both the first mix and second mix machines. Fail.

We also played Super Bishi Bashi Champion, and I won more games than her. XDDDDD But never mind.

We also went to watch Bride Wars, despite the fact that I don't normally do chick flicks. And (confession!) somewhere during the middle I conked for a wee bit.

I went off after that for my dental appointment. No details.

Earth bought me Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu 1, and I bought One Piece 52 and three packets of Naruto stickers, still none of which so much as included anyone from the Chuunin exam arc. But at least I got a shiny Kakashi sticker and a Grass Village sticker.

After that I had my last meal in this place - plain rice with chicken and abalone soup. It tasted like Calpis soda, but that was probably just me and my inability to get over its flavour.

FRIDAY

I've finally finished properly packing. My room's bare, naked so to speak, and it's hard to believe this won't be my room anymore. It'll be my sister's room, and I honestly wonder what will happen to the rest of the things I leave behind here, though by God's grace and by my sister's kindness I trust everything I have will be safe and sound.

I feel truly blessed by everyone around me who's wished me all the best for my studies in Melbourne, truly blessed for everyone I've had to promise to keep in touch with, for every person who's told me to come bother them when I'm back on term breaks. For my CG, for the Insane Brigadiers, for all my other friends, for Sensei, for Naomi, ...this post is long enough as it is without me listing everyone who's taken the time to give me their regards.

"Are you ready for the future?" Dad asked Truth on Monday.

...I'm not ready. But I'll give my best. For all the people who want the best for me, I'll give my best.

Breaking Off - The Last Obligations

2009-01-23T02:20:00.001-08:00

Just walk away, oh and don’t look back
‘cause if my heart breaks it’s gonna hurt so bad.
You know I’m strong but I can’t take that
Before it’s too late
Oh, just walk away.

- Walk Away, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, High School Musical 3

Last service, last CG, last class gathering, last fencing lesson. The "last"s just keep going on. I want them to stop, and even with my new toys*, I really don't want the things to end.

But they will. I hate that it's this way, but it is.

Apologies, Ciel*, that I should be ranting like this the second day you're here, but I'm seriously torn between missing this place and hoping for a new world.

Mdm Er told my mother that I'd probably make my mother angry every day if I went to a JC, and though I think she's right, there's something about this place that I'll miss.

I don't feel too good at the moment, and I can't put my finger on it. I feel my sense of individuality being slowly, gently, but painfully, eroded away. I don't feel good being "one of the crowd", and I feel horrible being "just another person". I don't like it when I know that many people are alongside me in some battle or another, and I hate it if I have any proper competitors, or people who've claimed to have something over me which I really want.

I guess I'm just envious.

Envy (also called invidiousness) may be defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s [perceived] superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it." It can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been him or her who had the desired object.
Bertrand Russell said envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness. It is a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but also wishes to inflict misfortune on others. Although envy is generally seen as something negative, Russell also believed that envy was a driving force behind the movement towards democracy and must be endured in order to achieve a more just social system.

- Wikipedia

I'm happy, Person X, that you have hopes, dreams, and desires.

I'm not happy that the hopes, dreams, and desires you have, are the ones I cling on to, and that I haven't let go of.

I don't like that I'm next to obligated to let go of some of them so you can have leeway to do whatever you want.

I hate that I'm slowly transforming into a doormat for your sake.

That is all.

* Ciel is my Intuos 3, and my new toy. Originally his name was to be either Adolf, Francis Ferdinand, or Nikita, but I put my foot down after Ciel was objected to for reasons I could not accept.

Breaking Off - The Reality Of The End

2009-01-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

You say goodbye,
and I say hello.
Hello hello,
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say hello.

- Hello Goodbye, The Beatles

This is my elephant, and it sits in the room.

11

2009-01-12T00:33:00.000-08:00

'cos now it's official.
Can't back out, can't back out.

I was late for my result collection, and walked in on a large pie chart showing how three quarters of us got at least 5 or 6 distinctions. I can't remember which.
But after I saw my class had 100% passes for History I heaved a sigh of relief. All I needed was to pass one.
Anyhow it came back, and it was good.

English A1 (Mr Sng and his narcissism. Awesome. ^^)
Chinese B4 (last year's business)
Higher Chinese D7 (that's still a just pass, desho? ^^)
Maths A2 (Exactly as planned.)
A Maths A2 (exactly as planned. Exactly.)
Combined Science(Chem/Bio) A1 (It had better be.)
Combined Humanities (SS/Geog) A2 (WTF NOWAI. No wonder Mrs Lim came up to me before I got my results, tapped me on the shoulder, and said "Well done, Faith.". I was expecting to fail this. Everyone I knew was [expecting me to not count this]. *_____*)

History B3 (thus tarnishing the 93.7-ish % that my class got. Oh well, I'd expected worse. 有難う神様〜)

I was late for the principal's address actually XD

But yes. L1R5.

1 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 3 = 11

I'm getting a prize for AE from HoGC perhaps ^^.

Mummy says she wants to get me something too. Hmm what shall I choose.. a Lolita dress, or a couple of seifukus? Hmm... ^___^

But in sadder news, this sets me on the path to Melbourne. And the rude sobering fact is that I have eighteen days to pack. To finish off what used to be my pride and joy.

I won't really be looking forward to that.

2009-01-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

there's no escape now

no mercy no more

in this farewell

there's no blood

there's no alibi

i feel like i'm not in my body,

like i'm watching everything from the sidelines,

almost like a movie.

tomorrow

doesn't feel

it's coming

anytime soon.

i feel like i can stay in this forever.

fencing, church,

my only worries being whether i can complete whatever shishou wants me to, and whether i can complete a 180º.

i don't want this to stop.

but part of me bites at all of me

i need to move on.

but now i only feel drugged.

i could be unconscious and i don't think anyone would notice.

i could be conscious and i don't think anyone would notice.

i feel nothing, if not mildly happy.

it's...chloroform.

hauuuuuuuuun~ (Breaking Off - The Realm Of Dreams)

2009-01-04T23:28:00.000-08:00

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you’re far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

- I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, Aerosmith

(No pictures today. Anything worth showing was in the realm of dreams.)

Today I got up late and had a Mega Prosperity Burger. It tasted alright but I got full into the last third of it.

Then I went home, and Truth got to the Wii first and started playing SSBB. By the tenth match I got extremely tired, so I went over to the couch (my refugee room's neighbour) and fell asleep.

I had a very fulfilling dream, and it was beautiful.

I was at a ski lodge on a storming winter's morning, and at a table I found Kenichi Matsuyama (as L). I was extremely happy to see him, and asked why he was there.

He attempted to explain in English, but eventually he failed.

I asked, "You don't speak English too well, do you?" and he nodded. "I don't speak Japanese too well either."

He smiled.

We had a strange conversation about nothing, which ended when my sister came to ask for his autograph.

Then I woke up.

Oh well.

Breaking Off -Talking About It

2009-01-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

Each time you smile
It'll only last a while
Life may be scary
But it's only temporary

- For Now, Avenue Q

There are no pictures today, because where I went, there was either no time for me to take pictures, or I didn't have anything handy that would have taken a decent picture.

I got up at half past 12 today.

I had lunch and went to church, and after service I was pulled to the painful reality that I had only three and a half weeks left before I was to leave.

"We need to hold a proper farewell for you," said Fedora.

(If that happens I think I'll end up with shinier eyes than all the Sailor Scouts combined.)

After about half the church left and Fedora had gone off to talk to Ivan and another person from B40 (I can't remember who) and Boxue had his back turned, I attempted a gymnastic split. (It's much easier in church on my boots. The floor's smooth, and so are my boots.) This scared Hannah, but oh well. Lynn could, too, but her legs hurt after that. She was from Chinese Dance in primary school. Hmm. (Ten years of drama, and I didn't ever have to do that.)(Come to think of it I have quite a few friends previously from Chinese Dance. Interesting.)

Naomi thinks I'm crazy for doing that in church. (But I thought I was crazy before. ><)

I had dinner, then I went to pick up stuff from Shishou's assistant's house. It's heavy, but very beautiful, but I won't touch any of it because I have visions in my head that they crumble upon contact.

I can't wait for Shishou to come back ^^. But I still think it'll be hard for me to conclude my internship under her, it's been such a special experience to me.

I already have lyrics in mind for that day, but I don't want it to come any time soon. In Shishou's presence I feel like I can do something. Something good. Something that isn't heroic, but good.

Breaking Off - Forgetting.

2009-01-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

What's the worst that I can say
Things are better if I stay
So long, and good night
So long, and good night

- Helena, My Chemical Romance

Marginal improvement. But I have no excuses today.

The pictures are on my phone, the cable of which is not here, so they'll come up later in the morning. *is shot*

fencing

2009-01-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

Today I won my two matches 5-4 and 5-3.

The first match was against Chloe, and the second was against the only new guy, Bryan.

It was quite saddening watching him do battle against me actually, but to prevent my ego from growing I shall not talk about it.

I'd still sort of like to shoot him for staying at ~100º when I was at ~175º. I guess it's sort of my fault for taking mine so far (I probably shan't rest until around 210º even though it'll involve many long and painful attempts), but still I want to shoot him. And he's not the only one. I'd also like to shoot Yilong-jiaolian for delaying counting till everyone got to at least ~110º. But that's not his problem, though his counting really slowly is.

...The sooner I get to 180º the happier I'll be. Because I'll have reached the end (reflex angles are major plusses, but generally people stop at 180º) and it'll stop being long and painful then.

Breaking Off - The Beginning For Most

2009-01-02T10:11:00.000-08:00

Like a river flowing to the sea,
You’ll be miles away and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain
No reason to cry

- Crucify My Love, X Japan

My lateness disturbs and disgusts me.

But that's what you get for having the worst sleep patterns ever.

I woke up this morning feeling extremely hungry. According to Chinese superstition what you do on the first day of the year is what you end up doing for the rest of the year, and it sort of came true today for me.

I was in punk (again). But in the only picture of me you'll see here my jacket's off. Oh well.

I met Tereza at the MRT station, then we met Penelope at Golden Village. Ojou-sama and Prisia came later.

We had time to kill (shifting movie timings and all), so we went to KFC because we wanted to eat. I originally wanted a medium lemonade, but a complaining digestive system made me get...

a popcorn chicken to go with it.

Speaking of which I've heard of this thing called the lemonade diet... but then again what do I care, me on a diet? I wouldn't last five minutes.

Then we went to watch Ponyo. No shiny colour posters because I was in a daze half the day. (Sleeping 2.5 hours. Don't do it.)

After that we went to school.

We met people along the way.

Our juniors, whom we later charged to take care of ELDDS. I'm gonna miss them.. T^T

Then we went to (what was) 4M after catching up with Mr Sng. (Who's as concerned about the direction ELDDS is going as we are. Actually probably more than us, but yeah.)

keheheheh boardspam.

Prisia fell asleep.

...something's in her hair. Hmmmmmmmm. *twiddles thumbs and skips away*

In the distance I saw a place I used to know.

There it is. Zandyland. Or what used to be Zandyland. It's now been given over to the people of 4N, which I feel is the best for it.

I'll remember this store. And I'll remember its signature dish. (When you're the stall selling prepackaged processed food, you need to make a couple of compromises on the signature dish.)

I fell asleep watching Avatar: The Abridged Series when Pris came over. Oh well.

And I'll go to sleep now because I have fencing tomorrow. I really want to know what the new blood's like, quickly figure out their techniques, and pwn them all.

Breaking Off - The Beginning of the End

2009-01-01T10:57:00.000-08:00

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will the memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

- Graduation (Friends Forever), Vitamin C

Today I slept at five-thirty, woke up at eleven-thirty, had a long lunch from three to five with many side dishes, slept the evening away. Thus the lateness of the post. Also it seems that the video is not the last of it, but is merely the beginning of my frustrations as my father tries his best to turn me into a hero.

Me, a hero? Feh. I think it's far easier, and more fun, to be the scourge of the earth, but I guess since my father's already a hero, for the sake of heroism, it needs to look like it's heredity. I have better things to do than let this consume my life, and I know it. But he doesn't. And if this is going to take over anything enjoyable I'll do for the rest of my holidays and beyond (I've missed one movie, nearly missed eating anything proper at all today, and everytime Dad sees me tinkering with a computer he comes over and makes me work on the project. He's seeing government grants and charity in all its glittering goodness and I just want to puke.) I will not have it. CIP was mostly torture for me already, and if it repeats itself as a regular fixture in my life then...

"This is my story. It'll go the way I want, or I'll end it here."

- Tidus, Final Fantasy X

But I'll stop now. Pictures.

My room this morning.

Having to learn how to use web templates and watching Nodame Cantabile at the same time is sort of painful, especially with the person who wanted me to learn to use web templates staring over my shoulder. Of course if I had my way (feh - which hero's training lets the trainee have his or her own way) I'd be having a Nodame super-marathon, but no. Not happening.

Dad suggested leaving me at home to finish designing the website, but I would not have it. I missed Seven Pounds just to wait for about ten separate clips to convert themselves from .m2ts to .wmv, if he thought I was going to miss a meal so I could move towards being a hero he was absolutely mad.

So I had my first meal of the year...

You laugh. You laugh, but I could have been eating instant noodles for my first meal of the year. This was undoubtedly a better option. Laugh away.

Naturally the first meal of the first day of the year (my only meal of the first day) should have sides. Many sides. Unfortunately I had to give a section to Earth, and a very small section to Worth.

And another side. Originally I wanted two scoops, but Earth had one scoop of Cookies and Cream, and Worth had one scoop of Vanilla, and I wanted English Toffee and Cookies and Cream (my post-fencing standards are high). Earth started making noise, so oh well. English Toffee.

We went to the hospital to see my grandmother. I thought the sanitiser pump was a tame thing, so I placed both my hands under the nozzle and pushed down on the pump with my arm.

Suffice to say some of it got in my eyes and on my specs. Not good.

Later I had waffles. No pictures there.

After sleeping the evening away I went upstairs to...a major mess.

The day was bound to come, but I didn't think it'd come this soon. Fortunately it's only the lower-deck stuff, and not the middle and upper decks, those would've been hell, and extremely painful to do because of the feelings I have for my middle-deck and middle-upper-deck things.

Especially painful will be...

This is my box of ticket stubs, which I've kept with me since I was eleven. It holds all my memories of most of the places I've been, save for those the tour guides had to keep as proof for their companies.

It'll be hard to find a way to replace it, seeing how it's grown so.

I don't want to clean my room. My friends are cleaning their rooms up for JC/Poly, if I clean my room I'll be cleaning my room off. Already my mother wants me to reorganise my table for my sister, and I'm going to be dreading the day she puts her foot down and makes me do it in front of her.

I want time to stop. But it won't.

Breaking Off - The End of the Beginning

2008-12-31T12:48:00.000-08:00

Fifteen there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
Fifteen I'm all right with you
Fifteen, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live

- 100 Years, Five For Fighting

Last night I pulled an all-nighter downstairs to finish a video.

So there aren't any real pictures here today. Also my camera batteries died.

By midday, having slept from 6.30-11am, and having not showered at all, I was frustrated, in despair, and having the activity levels of a potted plant. The above picture shows the levels of extreme boredom I faced.

My room yesterday morning. Or my excuse for one, thereof.

We counted down to the new year, and when it was done, everyone got up around me and hugged one another, and it was in that moment that a slow painful thought formed in my head that I wouldn't be having this feeling in a very very long time.

..Now I shall sign off, and hope that the video I put so much heart into produces results.

2008-12-31T06:49:00.001-08:00

The year of 2008 flew by most quickly indeed, but I guess that's how everyone feels at the end of the year.

I'll be arsed about prime events when I can be bothered.

Breaking Off will come two hours later because I can't be bothered now.

aiyoh sakinah you ask me do this for what?!

2008-12-30T09:44:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Get into a Shakespearean play. See blood after cutting myself. Throw an open tantrum in school. Get an internship. Go to a formal event without my father as the youngest directly invited guest. Nearly get disowned. Lots of things.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I had none. But I want to finish the Old Testament next year, and I want to be the best in class for English (esp. Drama), and I want to get into at least two theatrical productions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Japan, Malaysia, China.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Flexibility, a higher IQ, more tolerance for the people around me.

7. What exact date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

15 March, utter chaos and pure Midsummer love. 24 June, Farewell party in ELDDS. 4 July, the first time in many years that people thought I was cute. 22 September, I got sabotaged. 11 November, the first time I fondled Cordelia in earnest and played my first tracks on Cosette. 13 December, my love for Orochimaru-sama manifested in its purest form.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Midsummer. No doubt. And after that, resuscitating my Maths.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Absolute refusal of Combined Humanities.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Not that I remember.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Lolita dress. *squee*

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mummy. ^^

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine, of course.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Anime things. And candy.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
INSERT COSTUME STUNT HERE.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Motteke! Sailor Fuku - Lucky Star (I think, anyway.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
Happier, definitely.
ii. thinner or fatter?
Fatter T^T needs moar fencing.
iii. richer or poorer?
richer perhaps. my angpow money has never been touched. ever.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Draw. That which exited my hands just before the O-levels was beautiful, to me at the very least. I wonder if I can still produce such simple beauty. And I wish I'd gone out more after the O-levels. But I'm broke. Oh well, at least I had the Wii.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sleep. But it's a primal need, and I'm afraid of the day my eyes look like Bookman's, and when the bags set in.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
It's six days past, and I spent it in Beijing, which is akin to not spending it at all beyond listening to horrible British-accent music. If the girl singing about how she wants her two front teeth already has them back, tell me so I can knock them out so she actually has a reason to sing that song.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Crush. It's always the crushes and never the loves.

23. How many one-night stands?
I don't have any nightstands.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Kuroshitsuji. Sebastian is a beautiful, beautiful man. And I have dibs on him so don't touch. *stroke stroke fondle fondle* There was also Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and Nodame Cantabile. Both of which were awesome and extremely funny.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
aiyoh..so many...

* The Pillowman - Martin McDonagh (dark.)
* Nip The Buds, Shoot The Kids - Kenzaburo Oe (way darker)

* The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch

...there's more. But I can't be bothered.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Mitsumune Shinkichi (Do you hear the BGM? That's his work from the Rozen Maiden OST), John Williams (the undisputed king), Michael Jackson (REVIVAL!), Within Temptation (Beautiful. Just beautiful.)

28. What did you want and get?
A Mac, an iPod, a Lolita dress, the opportunity to do Orochimaru, an Orochimaru plush toy, probably the coolest darn internship I could ever ask for,

29. What did you get and not want?
Obligations to study, someone telling me I was irritating (for the next week after that I couldn't do something humans do to a white ceramic bowl properly.)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
L: Change The World.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Almost nothing actually. I got sabotaged, then I got treated to lunch. Besides that it was almost like I was invisible. But it was a war then, and in wars, people get forgotten very easily.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I don't really know. Going to Cosfest with Tereza?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Further induction into Japanese street fashion. Apparently somehow whatever I wore seemed to have some form of cosplay element in it, from my gold-buttoned jacket to my collared shirts. Speaking of which, my personal fashion concept involved a lot of collared shirts. A lot. And soon after, it involved dressing like a butler.

34. What kept you sane?
Drawing. Taking pictures of strange things.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kenichi Matsuyama/Joseph Goebbels/Johnny Depp

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama. Definitely.

37. Who did you miss?
The opportunity to see Sensei at Cosfest. But daijobu, that won't affect me now ^^.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't knowwwwww.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
...other people have feelings?

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Let it be, let it be,

let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom,

let it be.

From the Beatles song Let It Be. For the times when I did things I couldn't take back, and for the times I made people angry because I was being myself and they couldn't understand, and for all the tests I didn't study for, and for when I couldn't go to church, and for when even when I couldn't go to church my people openly insulted my friends. There's no use being anal about it, because there's really nothing to be done. As the Japanese said, 仕方がない, it can't be helped.

Breaking Off - The First Day

2008-12-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

The day the door was closed
The echoes fill your soul
They won't say which way to go
Just trust your heart
To find what you're here for
Open another door
But I'm not sure anymore
It's just so hard

- Scream, Zac Efron, High School Musical 3

The first day. Everything in its place... sort of.

I didn't go out today.

A tag.

2008-12-29T21:05:00.000-08:00

Breaking Off is only posted between the hours of 11pm of the day the pictures themselves were taken, and 1am of the next day. But until that sobering moment, I'll do a tag.

#1 The first person who tag in your blog is?
Naomi (other than me.)

#2 Your relationship with him/her?
BFF ^w^

#3 Your impression of him/her?
A bit hiau lah, but she's a very nice person. She's megas obsessed with Rain, and Gackt, and a lot of JRock which I can't be bothered to listen to because I'm living in the world of anime. She's a really serious Christian, and also a super dingdong.

#4 The most memorable thing he/she had done for u?
Bring me to church.

#5 The most memorable thing he/she said to you?
I know how much we badly want to please the people that we're so close with. Letting them do what they want, say what they want. But in the end you're actually labeled fake.

#6 If he/she become your lover you will
Retch, because we're both girls.

#7 If he/she become you lover, thing he/she has to improve will be
I. AM NOT. A CLOSETED HOMO-WHATEVER.

#8 If he/she become your enemy, you will?
Dibs on Helena. I'm taller ^^. (This refers to the females Helena and Hermia, from A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare. The men, Lysander and Demetrius, originally both want Hermia, but a brief sprinkling of lovejuice on Lysander, then Demetrius, leaves them both going after Helena instead, which leaves Hermia angry and jealous, while Helena is WTF-ing at the chaos because she believes that they're all fooling around with her. The problem gets solved in the end, they all live happily ever after. Thank you good night.)

#9 If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be?
I don't know. There isn't really a reason for it now, is there?

#10 The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
Find Rain and drag him to her. Tell him that this girl seriously needs his attention. NOW NOW NOW. But of course I don't know Rain.

#11 Your overall impression of him/her is?

Is there a right way to go about answering this question? It's like question #3, please Mister Author, find better inspiration for questions.

#12 How you think people around you feel about you?
This person...she's different.

#13 The characteristics that you love about yourself are
My specialisation in independent divergent thinking.

#14 On the the contrary, those you hate about yourself are?
Many things.

#15 The most ideal person you want to be is?
Me, but a genius, and a person with her own, obviously defining style.

#16 For people that care and like you, say smth to them?
"I wish I could return those feelings to you, because I feel unworthy of them, but since I have not the ability to do so... thank you."

#17 Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you. Pass to people with blogs only.

1. sakinah
2. penelope
3. naomi
4. kerryn
5. sha
6. ryan
7. (does not want to implicate her 師承 and so will leave this blank)
8. does not know
9. does not know
10. anyone else who wanna do~

#18 Who is no.6 having relationship with?
I have some idea, but I cannot say it.

#19 Is no.9 a male or female?
sexually ambiguous

#20 If 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
Perhaps. Like the first person who mixed blue and yellow together who called the new colour green, there is only one way to find out.

#21 What is no. 2 studying about?
Greek mythology, choral music, and fantasy in general. FOR NOW.

#22 When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
Yesterday

#23 What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
Does not know.

#24 Does no. 1 has any siblings?

Yes.

#25 Will you woo no. 3?
Evidently this meme is not sensitive to what I've written above. I repeat, I am not a closeted homo-whatever!

#26 How abt no. 7?
If I don't know who it is, how can I decide?! And no way in heck will I woo my 師承. That's just wrong, and it breaks all formal borders between those a student and teacher can share.

#27 Is no. 4 single?

She is.

#28 What's the surname of no. 5?

Salim :333333

#29 What's the hobby of no. 10?

There is no way to say.

#30 Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?

I can't say.

#31 Where is no. 2 studying at?

Previously at Cedar Girls' Secondary School, but now that we've graduated, I don't know.

#32 Talk something casually about no. 1

Mrs Jeong XDDDDD

#33 Have you tried developing feelings for no. 6?

Oh, but he isn't mine to develop feelings for, and I don't like being the older woman.

#34 Where does no. 9 lives?

Somewhere in the world.

#35 What colour does no. 4 like?

...blue?

#36 Are no. 5 and 1 best friends?

They probably have never met.

#37 Does no. 1 have any pets?

I imagine she'd like one though.

#38 Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?

I don't know. But 師承 is rather close, though it's far more refined than that.

#39 What is no. 6 doing now?

Not coming for fencing. That's all I know.

2008-12-27T02:47:00.002-08:00

i shall not talk about beijing beyond this paragraph. it was fine, deserted theme parks are scary, pandas were cute, i was consumed by a large underground 77th street, i pushed my way through stringed pearl curtains for the first time in my life and felt majorly rich even though i wasn't exactly, i peed myself by accident but thankfully none of it got on my clothes, i ended up looking extremely wretched upon my return though most of that was reversed in one sitting, the bird's nest and water cube aren't too big a deal really.

*breathes*

Alright, now that's done.

Today I won 4 and lost 2. All we really did today after warmups was free-fence. It was quite fun but very tiring.

VS Jessie: 5-1 (won)

VS Chloe: 5-4 (won directly after winning Jessie)

VS Geng Hao: 3-5 (lost)

VS Daniel: 5-3 (made it back :3333)

VS Jason: 5-4 (right of way.. T^T)

VS Truth: 5-2 (OHYES. Thank you Coach Esther for the lovely little piece of advice ^^.)

*deep long breath*

In three days I shall begin a daily series.

It shall be named... hmm I don't know. I'm stuck between Breaking Off, Breakaway, and anything else the average person throws at me.

All it will mean is that I'll obligate myself to take pictures of the places I go to, as a form of remembering them when I do, indeed, break off from this part of my life.

This is especially so I can remember my room, since I'm expected to move out of it within the next month. It will, I know this, become a place I cannot call "my room" any longer during the process, but I feel I should chart its progress as it slowly transforms from "my room" to "my sister's room".

Imagining the posters coming off my walls is depressing enough. First Mister Yagami, then Luffy, Kureha, Chopper, and the main actors of the Alabasta arc, after that Gaara, Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru. Enma, Kikuri, Ren, Hone Onna and Wanyuudo, they'll go too, before Ichigo and Rukia. The cast of Chopper Man will enter darkness, then Hoshigaki-san will, and then Light, L, Misa, Ryuk and Rem will leave. And at last, my heavy heart will see the departure of the SOS-dan.

I got most of them at the Parkway Comics Connection. I remember last year when I turned fifteen. I visited the shop and got myself the SOS-dan logbook which I now use as my piano logbook as a birthday present. They asked me if I liked posters, having come there so regularly to look at the posters, and I said yes, upon which they gave me two double-sided MapleStory third-job posters as a birthday present.

The people who did that, I don't see them anymore, nor do I remember how they look. But I remember being so happy, so very happy.

It's going to be hard to say goodbye to this place I know and love.

To not be able to call my room "my room" any longer, that will be hard.

To not be able to intern under Jingna-先生 (sensei, please) any longer, that will be hard.

To not be able to fence under Yilong-教练 any longer, that will be hard.

To not be able to go for service under Pastor How and Fedora more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard.

To not be able to meet Naomi and all my friends from HoGC more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard. Harder still, for there are new ones coming in all the time.

To not be able to see Mum and Dad in the flesh more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard.

To not be able to spaz with Tereza and Prisia and Iman-御娘-様 and the rest of what I used to call The Organisation more than once in a blue moon, that will be hard.

To cast aside my blue and grey uniform for ever, that won't be hard at first, but I will miss it dearly.

The Earth is cold, the fields are bare,
The branches fold against the wind that's everywhere.
The birds move on so they survive,
When snow so deep the bears all sleep to keep themselves alive.
They do what they must for now, and trust in their plan.
If I trust in mine somehow I might find who I am.

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear,
Which is the voice that I was meant to hear?
How will I know, where do I go from here.

My world has changed, and so have I.
I've learned to choose and even learned to say goodbye,
The path ahead, so hard to see.
It winds and bends, but where it ends all depends on only me.
In my heart I don't feel a part of so much I've known.
Now it seems it's time to start a new life on my own.

But where do I go from here?
So many voices ringing in my ear.
Which is the voice I was meant to hear.
How will I know, where do I go.
From here.

I need to stop emo-ing.

2008-12-27T02:47:00.001-08:00

let this be geneva, and not versailles.

2008-12-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

I know I'll never be good enough for you, so perhaps you shouldn't be good enough for me.
But your endless desire to be better stops this from happening, and hence there's only one thing that I can do...
and that is to raise the requirements and expectations I have of you, such that you can never achieve them.

Either that, or the problem lies with you.

In which case, it would be nice for you to know that you are about as safe to encounter as a case of hemlock darts fitted in a tennis ball feeder.

I won't say any more.
I won't so much as ask for presents this year.
Bah, Christmas. Humbug.

2008-12-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

Recently I started watching the music video to Jyosei Kashimashi Monogatari, the 2004 single by Morning Musume that marked the graduations of Ai Kago and another person I cannot remember.
It's so...cute. ^^ But it's Morning Musume so I guess that's kind of expected. Everyone around me insists that the song is the most damn noisy thing ever and that it's a spastic song that makes no sense. But I don't care.
And now I've learned the dance XDDDDD but I need to perfect it..
I think among all the verses I like Tanaka Reina's the best. (:
If you haven't watched it yet, go, GO. Melt your brains with standard over-the-top Japanese kawaii fare! You only have two weeks left, most of you!

Anyway, to cut to the chase... I'm in Beijing now.
On a computer that's fixed in the room, with one of the worst Internet connections I've had in a long long time. It makes my sister's desktop connection look good. (Yes yes I know, I've come to expect too much from my connection on Cordelia. =.=)
But at least it exists, ohwells.
Beijing is dry. Megas dry. When we left the plane and were standing around just outside the toilets my cousin's lip spontaneously started bleeding. Mine's just a little cracked at the side where no one can see, but still. Agh.
But that's not my main problem.
My main problem is even more stupid.
...
...
...
My hair's very, very, very dusty. It's disgusting, really, it's picking up more dust than my clothes.
Then there're the tangles. ACK. As a certain author said about a boy he met in Patagonia, a look of abstract horror passes over my face every time I brush my hair, especially the tangled parts.
And worst of all, the split ends. Those are probably because of the dryness of Beijing atmosphere, but seriously, they're doing more than Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson and Kohei Uchimura, combined.

It's cold, but running around generally solves that. (Which will make my eventual journey up the Great Wall that much more painful, since there obviously isn't much place to run.) The temperature is expected to lower over the next couple of days, something I do not anticipate with any degree of excitement whatsoever.
We're going skiing again. Woe is me. Korea in 2006 was fine because there was a roughly 30-degree inclination. Hakuba, Japan in 2007 was abysmal because the only area we were allowed to ski was this 10ish-degree inclination between two 60ish-degree slopes.
It looked something like this.
\ <---for pro snowboarders
- <---this was where we were allowed to ski.
\<---for pro snowboarders

And I'd forgotten how to stop, and seeing the situation it would've been extremely important, so all I ended up doing after about an hour of failing horribly at skiing was lying in the snow and refusing to move. No one missed me, anyway. Not until about half an hour when they were like "Why isn't she here? Maybe she went to the toilet, oh well." and then they realised I was there.

Hopefully we'll get a 20-degree inclination this time. 30-degree was fine but after the irritation I went through with the only slope we got in Hakuba (Why'd we even go there? Hakuba's supposed to be full of good slopes.) I need something to get back most of (I don't look to get back all of it - part of it's beginner's luck) the self-worth I lost there.
...
I'm rooming with my sister, and our room's large, with a splendid view of... buildings. But a view nonetheless, and a wide window from one end of the room to the other. I sort of know what I want to do tonight with it.
There's a big plasma screen television which I'm not inclined to switch on anytime soon. Mum and Dad's room looks lolita-ish. Lots of white, with rather pretty designs. If I find any Infanta here, I know what I'm going to do.
Till then, I'll bear the cold, and drink the Milo we packed.
This better be worth my lack of Christmas.

ohnoes a generic teenage girl rant

2008-12-15T19:28:00.000-08:00

It always has to be about you, isn't it?
Your ideas, your style, mine is always wrong because you were born 1337 and pwns0m3. People other than you in this world exist, and it's partially because of you that I'm on the verge of giving up any hope I have of ever making it big because I'm obligated to live in your shadow, eat in your shadow, breathe in your shadow, sleep in your shadow. I feel, all the time, that I'll never be anything more than Number Two, because of you. And it hurts. But most of the time it feels so correct, I'll never be anything more than Number Two.
You call the shots. You're the dream machine and I'm your hands with which I have to slog it out, get down and dirty. I feel like a worker ant under you, and you're the queen ant. The worker ant does all the work, the queen ant sits in a room doing nothing but make new ants all day. And you know that if I can't do it my way I'd rather not do it at all. But this time I can't. Give me my space, dammit, it has to be my thing. When they said it had to be an original work, they meant it, and it probably means that most of it has to come from MY brain. Not yours. If you want to control it so badly just purchase a fake ID and do it yourself.
I don't want to end up being labelled "trusty sidekick". It's a derogatory term for me. I cannot and will not be subordinate to you forever.
Even Robin grew out of Batman's shadow to form the Teen Titans. One day, I'll have to do that, and it'll be painful. It'll be hard. But it has to be done, because I cannot stay second to you.
I'm young. I'm inexperienced. I want change.
Is that so wrong?
I want a style that is mine.
You want a style that is mine.
Please stop confusing "my style" with "your style done with my hands". I'm doing my best to carve out my style, and I don't want it to be just like yours. I don't care if you don't like it, because out of six billion people in the world there's bound to be at least one who will. And for me to even have one person appreciating my style for being what it is, and for it to not be a mindless clone of anything your greatness has ever imposed (I know you're good, and everyone else does as well. You don't need to emphasise it.) on my person.
If you continue, so help me, I'll really be giving up. If I feel worthless I know it's because I am, and the only way for me to not feel worthless is to do something that'll make me feel like I'm worth more than I am now (a raisin). And if you "help me" or "give me suggestions" and I don't accept them, please understand that it's because I don't want to become a mindless clone of you. I want my self-worth, and I want it from doing my thing.
We look the same. Almost exactly the same.
They call me the female version of you.
Do you honestly think I like that? I don't want to grow up exactly the same as you. I know I'm a selfish person, and I know that I'm too selfish to do all the life-saving that you're doing now. I have more chances of being called "scourge of the earth" than being touted a "hero" as you have. Of course if I follow you completely I'll probably end up a hero as well, Hero Number Two anyway. But I don't really want to be a hero. I want to break free from the requirements of emulating you.
Perhaps great things of the world are out there waiting for me, and it's a good idea for me to go out and get them, but I ultimately want to do things my way. I don't want to win this game if I can't play it my way.

I hope you understand.

Overacting

2008-12-14T11:22:00.000-08:00

Today I had my first Big Mac (plain with sauce and cheese because I'm picky that way). It wasn't good. I didn't finish it.
And today after Show Me What You've Got, Naomi told me that she was going to watch Cats.

It took a while to register. But once it did, she dropped on one knee, and her head fell downwards.

Head lowered, she exclaimed "絶望した！！！"　("I'm in despair!!!")

Then for another while, there was nothing as she placed her head on a nearby chair, before a brief shaking was observed in Faith's body.

She smiled.

Darn, she thought, it can't break now! She decided to implement a change of plans.

She started shaking, ostensibly laughing silently to herself.

The laughing got louder, the shaking more vigorous, but she stayed down.

One person laid his or her hand on her shoulder and began to pray for her.

Faith stood up and engaged in full-blown laughter. By now she was arguably delirious, and straitjacket-wielding members of the Institute of Mental Health should have arrived, but they didn't, and the onslaught continued.

Her throat was mildly strained, her diaphragm hurting somewhat, her stomach aching just this little bit. But she continued, in blind hysteria, pointing at Naomi and laughing for all she was worth.

"Fedora, I think there's someone you need to minister to." was heard in the background.

A drop.

Down Faith went.

Deep breathing.

Silence.

Hair down, there she stayed for a brief period, while someone nudged her gently on her shoulder.

< /end overact >

There was the sound of "Hey, don't emo there leh."

No longer interested in continuing the act she'd crafted for the past one or two minutes, she picked up her handphone, the model name of which was appropriately pronounced "razor", rolled up her sleeve, and acted as if she was attempting to cut herself.

The nudging began again, and she looked up. She got up, and with a silly smile on her face, she ended her act. And how good it felt, to finally break it!

But it didn't really mean that she wasn't jealous of Naomi.

Epic.

2008-12-13T03:04:00.000-08:00

"Silver's good enough for me." - Nellie Lovett, Sweeney Todd

Today was fun ^^. Perhaps I lost most of my sight, but heck, it was solid fun.
I fought Jie Xi today for fencing, where I beat her 5-4.
It so happens Yi Long 教练 watches Naruto. Shock and disturbance. He always did look the type, but the only way to tell between football fans and anime fans (both victims of deep holes that are nearly impossible to climb out of) is by their dressing (He wears his fencing shirt and his track pants. Way to give clues.) and the way they talk (and I can only differentiate in English).
But @w@ he watches Naruto. And I know this because he managed to identify the first Kage Bunshin shot between me and Mochi as being from Naruto.

Anyway after that I got cleaned up and went back home to change into Orochimaru's inner clothes and his ninja sandals.
^_____^

Contacts are a real bitch. After an hour I concluded clinging on to Tereza was a better idea and so I got out of there.

Then I went to Expo, and got into Orochimaru's outer clothes. Tereza tried to insert my contact lenses into my eye, but it was not to be. Oh well.. :3
After that I took out Mochi (BEGONE MISTER SHARK! MOCHI OWNS MY HEART ^^.), and Iman did my makeup.The pallor was there, but it wasn't at the level of Mister Schiffer yet. Next time then.
After I bought my ticket someone grabbed my shoulders. And it was Ms Siew ^o^ but she was going off T^T
Moments after getting in Tsunade-baachan and I were asked for a picture together. I did a right-handed lunge and reached for her neck. Cameras I couldn't really see started flashing. By about fifteen seconds my legs were trembling, but I stayed down. The sort-of-pain was totally worth it for me ^^.

I saw so many cosplayers today, and they were pwnsome in their own ways...but I was happy with mine. I won't say I was ecstatic - I do hope still that one day I'll live up to the great name of the Orochimaru cosplayer from EOY 2006 - but I'll try harder till I nail it, the way I want to. Death pallor, solid violet and all.

I loved EOY, in ways I cannot describe, and seeing all the cosplayers made me so happy to be one of them and dressing as character I loved.
But I am tired, and I shall sleep now.

Super duper uber psyched!

2008-12-12T02:20:00.000-08:00

One more day, eighteen more hours to be anal.
My Spartan army is ready, all of us are raring to go.
But let time stop here, and let time stop now, because I want to pray for the success of tomorrow, and to prance around in my room with my newly-bought stuff some more.
No just kidding.
But I've taken a picture with Mochi already. I think we look cute together ^w^ even though he's him and I'm him and he isn't exactly... yeah.
My ringtone's his theme song, and my message ringtone his fight theme. In the words of Naruto, I'm all fired up and ready to go!

But in his words... All power shall be mine.

I anticipate the next day with greatest of fervour, and pray that my feet heal by then from the obsessive walking I did this morning.

Till then, I'll spar a little with Kusanagi, and then rush off.

Though I think I'll be stressing over my contacts. They're not here yet ><

2008-12-11T22:25:00.000-08:00

I've got it.
Now for the final bits, and I'll see the whole Spartan army tomorrow. ^^

2008-12-11T08:52:00.001-08:00

ONE MORE DAY.

A door was closed and a window was opened.*

The door then opened once more and the window threatened to close.

But I took a stick and jammed the opening of the window, and now, holding the stick there and walking towards the door, I stand at its threshold.

It's almost done. Everything is falling into place.

And I am happy.

* In The Sound Of Music, it is said that when God closes a door, he opens a window.

AGENDA FOR TOMORROW

1) Get money from Dad.

2) Go to the army surplus shop on Beach Road and buy white cotton gloves. (I'm bringing Mochi,covering my hands in theatre makeup is not worth staining him for.)

3) Go to the meetup.

4) Pay Revive and get costume.

5) Run home and drop it off.

6) Meet Naomi at Toa Payoh

7) Go out with her.

8) Find eyeliner and sponge and makeup removal wipes. (Theatrical makeup is sticky like no other.)

9) Go for meeting.

10) fantastico.

Iman's available so I'm safe ^^.

And I didn't have to go Akatsuki on Orochimaru.

Sadly Mochi's in the wash now, and I have to sleep with Mister Shark, who's small and too darn soft.

I appreciate the services of Mister Shark though; I simply like Mochi's more. ^^

AGH I have to frustrate over work NOW. >

OSU~!

pwnage

2008-12-09T12:08:00.000-08:00

and i was on the receiving end.

oh well.

between saying yes (and dying) and saying no (and having truth seriously get in my face for not wanting to fight) it was pretty much a hobson's choice.

At least I had a proper midnight romance.

* * *

ADVERTISEMENT (of a product I won't use) PLUG

When he came through the back door, the kitchen was quiet and empty. He thought maybe she wasn’t home. But he found her, sitting at the dining room table, in silence. A cigarette burned in the ashtray next to her, sending grey curls of smoke up toward the ceiling. At first, she didn’t even look at him. Then: “You’re back.”
“I’m back,” he sighed.
“Did you forget something?”
“No. I’m coming home.”
She stared into his eyes. “I don’t know why. We’ve said all we have to say. You know how I feel. I know how you feel. Unless you’ve changed your mind about buying that new PC.”
“I haven’t. But-”
“But nothing. You know I think we should buy a Blu-Ray player instead. That hasn’t changed. It won’t change.”
“I know.”
She looked away. “So what are you doing here?”
“We… we can have both.”
“We’ve already discussed this. We don’t have the money to buy a computer and a Blu-Ray player.”
“What if they’re the same thing?”
Her eyes locked on his. “If you’re playing with me, I swear to God – if this is a joke…”
“It’s not a joke. The HP Pavilion S3430F is not a joke. It’s real. The Phenom-9100 1.8Ghz processor, the TV tuner card, the 500GB hard drive, and yes, the Blu-Ray drive – all real.”
“So… we can have it all?”
“Yes.”
“Everything?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes.”
She was up, going to him, finding the space between his arms.
“Let’s never fight again,” she sobbed. “Never let me go.”
“I won’t,” he assured her. “I won’t.” As they entwined in the darkening dining room, their bodies fitting together in all the familiar ways, just one thought distracted him: Now I just have to make sure she never finds out I’ve been sleeping with her sister.

* * *

今天我也發覺到能在自己的 MacBook 上寫華語，以後可能會對我有所幫助吧。。。

說的也是，我覺得自己比較喜歡使用繁體字，因為我覺得比較美。 ^^

* * *

THREE DAYS AND I'M NOT PREPARED. Watch me fly. XD

progress (or lack thereof)

2008-12-07T21:42:00.000-08:00

Now, if only I could get exactly the same straightness for Saturday morning, increase the deathly pallor and add the reptilian eyes he has.

And of course, the clothes shall be needed muchly.

FIVE MORE DAYS and I'm not prepared.

2008-12-07T04:44:00.002-08:00

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?

You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of God that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.’

- Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles

If anyone were ever to tell me this, ...

internship

2008-12-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

I *heart*s it.

It's this occasionally awkward but fun little adventure...

Jingna looks really pretty when she's taking her self-portraits. And I never knew lighting could do *that* much..

But she's not in town so my adventure's gotta wait till January to continue. Hmm hmm.

Meanwhile I shall hold my little Mochi dear, and work my way towards making a proper shadow clone of him...

I have a week. AGH.

So I shall break out in informal musical number now because of the desperation of my situation, which I haven't really bothered to notice till now.

"Now give me money (that's what I want)

That's what I want (that's what I want)

That's what I wa-a-ant, yea-yea-yeah,

That's what I want."

Speaking of musical numbers I broke into one when I was dropped off ytd. Namely So Long, Farewell. XD

2008-12-03T06:25:00.000-08:00

It's starting.

Something beautiful is beginning.

Something that will probably turn my life for the next month upside down and inside out.

And during this period I shall live on $500.

*sigh*

But it's alright. I'll face it with all I have, and it shall make me happy for this one month.

2008-11-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

I found my Chuunin gloves, and I found my black ballet flats from since time immemorial, which miraculously still fit on my feet.

And today I'm gonna graduate from the Singapore Media Academy's Television Acting Course (Teenagers).

In Gothic Lolita no less ^^.

But really what I hope for my graduation is that it doesn't lead me to something that doesn't lead me anywhere. I don't want my graduation to unfold into a dead-end thing. I want to use it as a checkpoint, and after that from there I want to jump into this crazy world of acting.

But if, *If*, I had my way, I'd start and end in theatre, and everything else would revolve around it.

Then again we'll see what happens.

Let's roll (:

These past few days - BAD

2008-11-26T02:58:00.000-08:00

SATURDAY

Truth asked for another battle with me, and thrashed me 2-5 and left a bruise on my leg. It's still here. And crikey, it's huge! Mum didn't know about it till Wednesday though, because here's a fact of life: bruises go away.

SUNDAY

I overslept and missed the service in which my church pastor was ordained as a reverend. T^T

MONDAY

My digestive system got way out of whack.

TUESDAY

Truth started spasming in his sleep and yelling in his sleep. Apparently his frequent leg cramps acted up. I thought he was dreaming and so left him alone. But he wouldn't stop, and eventually the folks came in and yelled at me for not calling for them when he started spasming. I said I thought he was dreaming and Dad asked, "If you see a dying man in the street, will you stay there and not help?" (My answer would be "yes" but that had no link at all to my brother spasming in pain anyway.) Which got me extremely angry. If anything happens usually somehow they can link it back to me. If I'd called them, and nothing happened, I'd bet my allowance for the next year they'd scold me for wasting their time.

WEDNESDAY

Most boring lesson. Is all.

These couple days - GOOD

2008-11-25T10:16:00.000-08:00

These days have been fraught with extremes. I don't want to put them together and dilute my feelings.

SATURDAY

My battle with Chloe yielded a 5-3.

We celebrated Ivan's birthday in church as a zone.

At long last all Naruto characters were unlocked on Naruto: Gekitou Ninja Taisen.

SUNDAY

I went to AFA. ^^

I saw lots of cosplayers, and there was a kawaii short Byakuya.

I met Prisia and Yi Hui.

Earth returned from Taiwan and gave me an Ishida figurine.

MONDAY

My classes at the Singapore Media Academy started for acting. It was a slow start, but my abilities grew and grew and they eventually got to a working level that I had before leaving ELDDS.

Something beautiful happened. And it could only be made better by the fact that iTunes started playing We Are The Champions by Queen.

TUESDAY

The teacher at the Singapore Media Academy said I was very detailed. First compliment I got of the sort. But then again it seems I get comments that really don't seem to suit my person every time I attempt to act. (I remember the Sec 2s wrote, in their letter to me, that I was really serious when acting.)

I nearly cried at The Sound Of Music. Not Julie Andrews mind you. We're talking about the school musical of Saint Joseph's Institution (International). Awkward. Even more so when I look at the flubs during the musical itself. (At the Salzburg Music Festival a Nazi soldier attempted to unfurl a Nazi banner with one clean stroke. The whole thing came crashing down.)

WEDNESDAY

I finally got a script ^^.

2008-11-22T21:21:00.000-08:00

let it be,

let it be, let it be,

whisper words of wisdom,

let it be.

today i overslept by an hour and missed the service in which my pastor was ordained as a reverend.

...

lord, if all the world's a stage, and every man and woman a player, i pray that i don't stay a calefare forever.

The post about the Cedar Musical that's actually about my clothes.

2008-11-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

Today was the Cedar Musical.

All I can say about it is... it was only too obvious that it was a Mr Sng production. Everything exuded that Mr Sng... atmosphere. Air. Thing.

Was very pretty.

I overdressed.

And washed my hair twice that day so it was excruciatingly straight. Conditioned x2

I followed the Kuroshitsuji Layer Code, and dressed in a white collared shirt, a black tie, a black vest, a jacket, and an overcoat. I wished I had the perfect white gloves, but I guess another day, another pair.

If I had a gold/silver timepiece that would've been pretty too. A chain may have been a nice touch too, but never mind. ^^

Black boots, black worker's slacks. Officially overdressed and smexy.

Miraculously despite the five layers (I'm a girl after all.) I didn't feel hot. I didn't feel anything when I slung my bag on my shoulder even.

Everyone was like @w@, and I guess for me this is a sort of redemption for what I did in July. Lolitaness can be countered with Butler after all. Although I personally like Kodona, I have neither the top hat, nor the vest, nor the breeches to back it up.

I'm still in my clothes. I don't want to go through the trouble of pulling it all off...

But I have fencing tomorrow.

Decisions, decisions.

2008-11-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

ZOMG.

People more free than me exist!

Last night I sent the story about the bicycle owner to STOMP.sg

And now it's on Top 8.

Weirdoes... nearly 7000 views already.

The story is here.

retardyay!

2008-11-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

I saw this outside my grandmother's house yesterday. It was written by a guy whose bike had been stolen. Twice.

Apparently he was so frustrated he wrote this and taped it outside his house.

This is the cutest don't-take-my-stuff letter I've ever seen. It's better than anything I could've done on my angriest day.

To the guy who had the guts to write this:

Kudos to you. But I don't think it'll get you anywhere.

A Naruto rant.

2008-11-18T07:46:00.001-08:00

Yesterday or the day before for a little bit I spent time in my room in Orochimaru-mode. (Sunday Monday)

It was a passive thing, but it happened nonetheless. It was mildly scary the speed at which it came, but I was sort of happy it did.

I ended up reacquainting myself with Michael Jackson and downloading the following tracks...

Bad

Black or White

Childhood

Thriller

Scream

Somebody's Watching Me

Beat It

Billie Jean

..I like Black or White. Just because.

I love Billie Jean, but I cannot dance it for the life of me. I need someone to teach me. ><

The newest addition was Childhood by Michael Jackson. It took the longest, and for long agonizing periods of time it would stagnate. But eventually it finished. And it was totally worth it.

I (in Orochimaru mode) nearly cried listening to it. The lyrics were so sad. They were so beautiful. And they felt so relevant to Orochimaru that I couldn't help myself.

People say I'm not okay

'cos I love such elementary things.
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the childhood I've never known.

If only the Naruto fans could see. Especially the Sasuke fans. Orochimaru had a human side as well. He wasn't all bad, and he didn't have no redeeming features.

I am not an animal!

I am a human being!

I... am...a man!

(The Elephant Man, 1980 film. Or in my opinion, what Orochimaru should tell everyone.)

The formal end of Orochimaru as we knew it, a part of Orochimaru's past was shown. Young Orochimaru was at his parents' graves, where he had found a white snake skin. Along came Sarutobi-sensei, who explained to Orochimaru that the skin was a sign of rebirth, and perhaps that meant that Orochimaru's parents had been born again.

Orochimaru didn't spontaneously begin his journey to find out how to live forever for nothing. Apart from his thirst to learn all the ninja arts of the world, which would, evidently, take more than one lifetime, Orochimaru desired to find his parents.

It wasn't his fault.

SARUTOBI DID IT.

And because Sarutobi impressed on young Orochimaru the notion that, perhaps, rebirth was possible, Orochimaru's desire to reunite with his parents caused his ruthless search for the way to live forever.

And perhaps, when he did find the solution, he would give it to his parents as well, so they would be eternally bonded, never to part.

When you're a kid, and you get told something by someone you trust, until you see actual results which prove otherwise, you usually don't stop believing in it. Young Gaara and Yashamaru, from the same series, provide a suitable parallel to the relationship between Young Orochimaru and Sarutobi in the matter.

Orochimaru, admittedly, was a selfish man. A very selfish man for that matter, that he was not beneath treating the pursuit of his dreams as a game of chess, in which 'pieces had to be sacrificed' for the greater good. He would kidnap civilian ninjas for the sole purpose of experimenting on them to tinker on their inner workings, for better or for worse. His injection of the DNA of a wood-style ninja art user into sixty young ninjas resulted in the deaths of all but one, but of the students and experimental subjects he left behind, the survivors gained powers beyond reason. Some, like Kimimaro and Sasuke, were able to take their powers to the next level and become more powerful ninjas, while others gained new abilities, such as Suigetsu and Yamato.

What he had going for him in his ruthlessness was that he never gave up in that which he wanted to pursue. He spent years trying to perfect the way to eternal life, and no matter how much time (and hapless people) he had to spend, he did it anyway, and he never had a moment in which he thought to himself, "Screw this, my parents are dead, why should I bother?". He displayed great enthusiasm in procuring new citizens (pawns) during the creation of the Sound village, and offered just enough to tip the down-and-out over to his side. He took great pains to train his proteges.

In the end, though, his selfishness was a reason for his fall. He trained Sasuke so as to take on Sasuke's body, and when the time came and Sasuke retaliated, Orochimaru could not bring himself to kill the person who should have been his future soul container. It was this hesitation because of his desire to pursue what he wanted that caused him to fall, as Sasuke had no reservations towards Orochimaru, and swiftly did him in.

...I'm done.

TWENTY-THREE DAYS TO CHIONG IT. (Or less.)

The post with nothing but good news

2008-11-16T04:51:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy to have a post like this.

On Friday I had my first CG in a long long long time and I got introduced to all the new people at B40. And I met... a couple of other people ^^.

One of the people in B40 was my ex-classmate's sister. ^___^

On Saturday I beat my brother in fencing 5-2, the first time I'd beaten my brother/a boy in six months. I also had my first service, which was very enjoyable.

Today I began my Great Wii adventure, and while I'm not too good with Naruto: Clash of Ninja just yet, I'm catching up, and I've made quite a bit of progress with Jiraiya. At about eight (it's almost ten) Truth and I (he's much nicer when he isn't picking fights) managed to unlock Orochimaru. He gets chakra really quickly, and his special attack's really useful, and does quite a decent amount of damage while completely draining the victim of chakra. I can't wait to play him IRL ^^!

I'm getting Bleach: Shattered Blade tomorrow.

My O-levels are over, and I can do whatever I want.

This is the shiniest post on this blog. ^_______^

2008-11-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

One. Think of 15 interesting things about yourself, they've gotta be true. Two. Think of 5 false things about yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability. Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order. Four. Post them and let people guess which the five false ones are! Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

ONE I don't actually want to enter theatre when I grow up. Visual art sounds better for me.

TWO I joined at least three tall people's associations on Facebook

THREE Part of me wants to join the cheerleading squad next year

FOUR I don't like poetry that doesn't rhyme

FIVE I can sleep listening to death metal

SIX I once loved Barney

SEVEN I grew up not formally knowing Sesame Street until I was about six

EIGHT I fail at DDR

NINE I don't get experimental theatre

TEN All the schools I've been to treat English Drama as a second-class CCA

ELEVEN I used to do ballet

TWELVE I love LazyTown

THIRTEEN I'm 175cm tall

FOURTEEN Once I vowed never to wear skirts or dresses outside of school obligations ever again

FIFTEEN I have tried to kill myself before

SIXTEEN I owe Tereza a moral debt

SEVENTEEN I love Kenichi Matsuyama

EIGHTEEN I have gotten an SS in Para Para Paradise before

NINETEEN I first cosplayed in school

TWENTY I've dated a guy

THE ANSWERS ARE in white for the cheaters.

ONE

FIVE

THIRTEEN

FIFTEEN

TWENTY

And I pick..

Naomi, Sakinah, Penelope, and the other two can choose ^_^

2008-11-11T18:23:00.001-08:00

Today is Play Mac Till Eyes Bleed day. ^______^

Drama Day went really really really well.

Better, actually, than expected.

I watched High School Musical 3 with Fe. And I LOVED IT, and now I want a big pink glittery sign saying FAITH SIM IN EVERYTHING.

*********** **** **** ************ **** ****

* * * * * * * * * * * *

* ****** * * * * * **** ***** * * * *

* **** * ** * * * * * * ****** *

* * * * * * * * * ****** *

* **** * *** * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

***** ***** ***** **** ***** **** ****

...but I'm lazy. XDD And I figured I liked Orochimaru-purple better ^_^

I'd get the DVD, except the darn Troy-Gabriella moments are irritating.

I liked I Want It All,A Night To Remember, and The Boys Are Back.

Scream's also quite good, next to Walk Away (the characteristic Troy epiphany and the sad Gabriella leaving Troy song).

Then I had a Hershey's Sundae Pie before going to church. At last. ^___________^

The rule was that after the O-levels I could go to church. So I used it.

Everyone was @w@ing when I took out my Macbook. But it got kind of awkward when I didn't know how to connect the adapter (so it *was* a strength thing!). But Christian helped ^_^ and I could access wireless internet in church ^^.

I met lots of people, few of which I remembered. But Ivan was there, and so was Samantha. ^^ And I met Sylvia too (:

After that I met Naomi and we had dinner at my place.

Then we went to watch Avenue Q.

The voices took getting used to, for a person who listened to the original Broadway cast since the beginning of her introduction to the world of Avenue Q.

But once that was done, I couldn't stop lip-synching. I knew all the lyrics, because I remember singing them compulsively when I was in Sec 2.

Lucy the Slut was more than I asked for. That was a really fiercely sexy voice.

But I loved Rod the most. I have no idea why.

...I couldn't get used to Christmas Eve.

But that was one good Gary Coleman right there.

I loved Avenue Q. If you can catch it, anywhere at all, DO IT.

And now I shall return into my cosy little world of Cordelia, Cosette and Persephone.

2008-11-10T20:40:00.001-08:00

so many ways to say it.

THE WAR IS OVER!

I have run the race, fought the good fight, and kept the faith.

YATTAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was written on my shiny new 13-inch Macbook.

Yes it's all mine now ^_____^

2008-11-10T20:40:00.000-08:00

so many ways to say it.

THE WAR IS OVER!

I have run the race, fought the good fight, and kept the faith.

YATTAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was written on my shiny new 13-inch Macbook.

Yes it's all mine now ^_____^

2008-11-09T04:03:00.001-08:00

I don't even want to think about what happened this afternoon.
And now they all think that it's alright that he did that and that I saw it coming. They won't talk about it, they won't scold him.

I'm overreacting. I'm overreacting. I'm overreacting.
I'm only overreacting. I'm only overreacting by running away from him whenever I see him.

I'll try to tell myself he's not going to beat me up again.
He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.He's not going to beat me up again.

I just have to be a good little girl.
I was a bad girl.
I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.I am a bad girl.

I'm a drama queen and I don't deserve to live in this house.

Sometimes I wonder if it warrants the punishment I got from him, what I did.

Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.
Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.
Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.
Bringing ramen into the computer room because your legs still hurt from training is a capital sin.

Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.
Running away and slamming the door in your brother's face can justify assault on your person.

And then I wonder if my reaction was justified.

Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.
Crying in your room for an hour straight because your brother hit you liberally for bringing ramen into the computer room means you're a drama queen and no one should take you seriously.

I hate this day. I'm so tired I want to sleep, but my legs hurt too much, as do my shoulders, for me to drag myself upstairs.

I'd wanted to spend the rest of the day upstairs without lunch or dinner, but my sister came and coaxed me downstairs. I'm still scared though, and I don't want to talk to my brother. I don't want to so much as look him in the eye. The less contact I have with him, the less chances I have of getting beaten up by him for the smallest things I do. (If I can get beaten for waking up late, for eating well-done sirloin steak that was meant to be his without my knowing it, for reading his books, and for playing his computer, I might as well stay far far away from him.)

I'll be happy to be away from him next year. Not so happy to be away from my sister.

2008-11-08T20:26:00.000-08:00

kami-sama...
mein gott..
scheisse. ><

Yesterday was a long long long long fencing day.
It began with my losing to Daniel 3-5. But in any case the record still stands that I haven't beaten a guy in about five months.

Anyway moving on, we were late for Nam Hyun Hee's motivational talk (mostly in Korean but with a translator) by about half an hour. All because there was an accident (a taxi dented a BMW so lightly I couldn't see the damage at all) nearby, and people were stopping to look. The guy in the car beside us, who was overtaking us, drove really slowly to look at the carnage (none to speak of) and started clapping.

Never mind.

I don't remember much of the talk.
My brother and I then had four hours to do absolutely nothing before fencing clinic.
We raced to Novena, we ran back, we went to Popular, met Ryan, walked around aimlessly, went to Toys R Us, went to Tenchi, and basically lounged around doing absolutely nothing.

My brother got me One Piece Tankoubon 51 though, for which I'm happy ^^.

We ended up sitting in our fencing school doing absolutely nothing at about five-thirty, where the fencing teachers offered to transfer us from the 8pm class to the 6pm class. And we accepted.

The thing about Nam Hyun Hee is that... well, I'd imagined her taller, and much scarier. She's about as tall as my shoulder, and quite so very adorable ^____________^
And she had her hair in a half-ponytail, which generally doesn't add points on scariness, and she was wearing these glittery heart earrings in the perfect shade of pink.
BUT that's beside the point.

Damn, she lunges really far, and really low, and really fast.
We tried lunging to her level, but we couldn't get the speed or the distance.
She stayed in that position for about half a minute to a minute. I fell over ><
Later I could, but my legs threatened to fall off (they still are threatening at this point).
Korean people are generally smaller, so what they don't have in arm length (totally my thing) and height, they make up for with insane speed and leg power. And she has it.

And now everything from the waist down on my side hurts like crazy. Even sitting L-style drives me nuts.

After fencing clinic we went to eat at Swensen's. We had deep-fried mushrooms, my brother had a Mega Burger and I had a Spaghetti Bolognaise.
After eating about two-thirds of his burger he stopped and looked at the patty. It was reddish-pink inside, and he didn't feel good about it. He never feels good about uncooked meat, it's why he doesn't take steak, even if it's medium-well. (Once he got really mad at me because I'd taken his well-done sirloin steak and he'd taken my medium-well sirloin steak, even though we couldn't really tell the difference.)
He said, "WHY IS THE PATTY UNCOOKED?!?!?!"
"It's always that way with hamburger patties. Even the hamburger steak I ordered in Odaiba wasn't fully cooked."
"..."
"If it makes you feel any better, hamburger patties are made of minced beef, which can be from about a thousand different cows."
"...THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER!" And he put it down and refused to eat the rest of it.
For dessert he had a scoop of Sticky Chewy Chocolate ice cream (not sticky, not chewy, not my thing) and I had a Frosted Chocolate Malt sundae. The sundae was huge. HUGE. Like huge goblet huge. And it had Chocolate Malt ice cream (IMO the best flavour in the Swensen's repertoire since their Cookies and Cream and their Butterscotch have failed me) with whipped cream and a chocolate-dipped wafer and lots and lots and lots of Maltesers. I couldn't have asked for more. I remember also, saying that if I got a sore throat, it'd be totally worth it. (I had one when I got up. But at this point, no.)

But now I'm confused. Is it riposte (ree-post) or riposte (ree-po-stay)?
...
oh well. Time to enjoy the last day of relaxation before the last day of studying, before the last day of exams, before HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 and AVENUE Q ^^.

quizzes.

2008-11-05T19:03:00.000-08:00

was bored..

You Are Smores

Unusual and unconventional, you make your strange ways work for you.

You've got personality - no one's denying that!

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

There Are 0 Gaps in Your Knowledge

Where you have gaps in your knowledge:

No Gaps!

Where you don't have gaps in your knowledge:

Philosophy
Religion
Economics
Literature
History
Science
Art

Do You Have Gaps in Your Knowledge?

There's a 52% Chance You've Been Abducted By Aliens

Maybe you've really been abducted by aliens... but probably not.

Let's face it. You're just a little weirder than most people.

What Are the Chances that You've Been Abducted by Aliens?

The Castle Personality Test

You have no problem diving into new experiences. You're so brave that you don't even notice how courageous you are.

You like to think that people see you as dramatic and fascinating. You do your best to seem mysterious.

You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be.

Right now, you feel like the whole world is open to you. You see lots of possibilities.

Overall, your life is dramatic and unpredictable. You life in interesting times.

You feel like the fate of the future partially rests in your hands. You believe you need to help make the world a better place.

The Castle Personality Test

You Are Reverse Pocky

Your attitude: rebellious and clever

Non-conformist, but curiously a trendsetter

With you, up is down... and it's a wild ride!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

You Are a Goth!

You're so gothically outrageous, and you aren't afraid to flaunt it.

Whether you dress up like Robert Smith or a tragic Little Bo Peep,

chances are that you'll be parading around with the rest of the goths at Yoyogi Park on Sunday.

Don't forget your white makeup and blue lipstick! Who knows?

You may just get picked up by one of the seedy photographers.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

You're the type of person who stands out in a crowd, even when you're trying to blend in.

You are honest in your character and appearance. You don't pretend to be someone else.

Your inner demon is sorrow. You tend to get depressed easily.

People think you're cute because you're rebellious. Your uniqueness is charming.

The Cute Monster Test

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are unique, creative, and fascinating.

You don't do what's expected of you.

You go for what's unknown and uncharted.

You are emotionally expressive and sensitive.

You're effected by everything around you.

Your friends appreciate your open heart, but they are afraid of hurting your feelings.

You love new adventures and activities. You enjoy living a full life, even if it is chaotic.

You feel lost when things are quiet. You rather not think... you prefer to just do!

The Chocolate Oracle

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are intense and rebellious.

You are intelligent... but in a very unconventional way.

You are curious about the world. You love doing something new.

In fact, you enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from.

You are very physical. It's likely that you're athletic, but not into team sports.

You have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to you.

What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?

You Are Stalking

You tend to be very obsessive. Once you focus your attention on something or someone, it's all you think about.

You are also very secretive. People don't know much about the life that you lead.

You are attracted to weak people. You may want to prey on them, but you also may just want to help them.

You need attention, and you can get desperate if you aren't getting attention from the right person. You'll do about anything to get noticed.

What Felony Are You?

What Your Playing Cards Tell About Your Future

Right now is a time of warning and caution for you.

Your emotions are currently tied to a specific wish. If you can get rid of a few obstacles in your life, this wish will come true.

Your closest friend is a true partner. Consider living with or starting a business with this friend.

The near future will bring you major disputes and arguments. Things could end in a lawsuit, a separation, or divorce.

Beware of some very bad news. This may mean the loss of someone close - or the loss of a close relationship.

The Playing Card Test

NB: wish = Orochimaru cosplay, partner = Naomi, separation = College.

What Your Little Black Dress Says About You

You are lively and outgoing. You are naturally friendly.

You enjoy meeting new people and making new connections.

Your style is whimsical and unique. You're good at putting together interesting outfits.

If you were a shoe, you would be: High heeled boots

The Little Black Dress Test

youtube pluggggggggggg

2008-11-05T04:51:00.000-08:00

contains language and bad english. made me rofl. for the whole joke go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA1IsvCUqBo
(i nearly suffocated. XD)

..a short gothic anime. Ms Siew sent the link to me. @w@ pretty.

yus that will be all. now i shall go back to celebrating.

lol city wall. XD

the end of sensibility

2008-11-04T23:59:00.000-08:00

At last, all my written papers are finished.
Higher Chinese today was not half the nightmare I thought it would be.

HIGHER CHINESE (PAPER ONE) - I felt a sense of deja vu doing Paper One. I did questions 1 and 5, and I had a strong feeling that question 5 had been given, in perfect copy, months ago by my Chinese teacher. Naturally people were going all "ZOMG UNFAIR T^T", but I didn't do it on my first chance (the slacker I am) so there wasn't really an advantage on my part. The points came most naturally to me for that question though, so I went ahead with it.

HIGHER CHINESE (PAPER TWO) - Very strange. But doable. And I finished the paper. Huzzah.

So now there's nothing left for me but to wait for six days till I can shade ovals and finish my O-Levels officially, though I must say I'm already celebrating XD

Studay date with Prisia on 10/11, but beyond that I'm already in halfswing mode. ^^

2008-11-03T00:32:00.000-08:00

YES!
HUMANITY HAVE BEEN ERADICATED!!!!!!
...let me fix that typo...
HUMANITIES HAVE BEEN ERADICATED!!!!!!
And I'm loving it! Everything I prayed for came to pass, I did Sri Lanka and Northern Ireland without that tiresome Bonding Singapore standing in my way,and I read Globalisation and Economic Strategies, and that came out for SBQ too!
I've never been too good with Social Studies, it's quite obvious I don't like it for its...hard-selling of propaganda...
Let me celebrate. ^^

an updateeeeeee

2008-11-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Before I get dragged back into the world of ~~MAJOR PROPAGANDA~~ Social Studies, let me say that my world was rocked so, so, so hard yesterday.

I fenced only one person, and it was a girl, and as it was I won 5-1.

Then I went to sleep after one hour of reading ~~MAJOR PROPAGANDA~~ Social Studies I went to sleep and started dreaming about letting go of a blue balloon tied by a gold-yellow ribbon to a transparent balloon shaped like a rubber duckie.

Then I went down and saw a Macbook. I fondled it for a while, and then I understood.

Shit.

And then Dad showed me my iPod Touch as well, 16GB, but I was reeling from the Macbook so that came as a smaller shock.

But I can only touch them after the O-Levels.

Oh and the cover's anodised aluminium. So no L impressions oh well.

I'll start work programming a screensaver for it once the O's are over. ^^

Meanwhile enjoy this musical piece.

Thank you, Dad. For the Macbook, and for the iPod.

NINE DAYS LEFT.

COMBINED SCIENCE (PAPER FOUR) - Was decent, but I truly do not understand why animal cells do not have cell walls. I did questions 7 and 8, on sexual reproduction (menstruation and HIV) and on ecology respectively.

projections

COMBINED HUMANITIES (SOCIAL STUDIES) - I don't like this subject, and I'd sooner take History into my L1R5 than this...thing here. But if I must then I will. I don't like Combined Humanities, I'll come very clean with that.

2008-10-31T03:40:00.000-07:00

I feel pillaged and plundered like a pirate shanty.
But I cannot give up, I will not give up. Mosquitoes may attack, nights may pass, but there are only eleven days left, only four papers left.
1111
and then I'll wake up from the nightmare, and I'll live the dream.

But for now, I'll cuddle Mochi, and we'll sit in bed and learn everything I have to learn together.

2008-10-30T06:25:00.000-07:00

I want to restart my dramatic life.
Perhaps not all over again, but I want to start with a new heart. I want to see what I can do, get every chance I get.
I want to spread my wings, wet and shriveled, I imagine, from this incubation period of about three months.
Three months. That's a long time.
It's enough for me to forget all I've ever done.
It's also enough for me to take a break. But why would I, I love drama, it's been here for me, and I've been here for it, for twelve years.
That roughly sums up to 12/16 = 3/4 = 0.75 = 75% of my life.
And I don't want it to stop.
Not in a long long long time.

2008-10-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

"It's over," said Ms Leong, "Don't think about it."

Southeast Asian History was pure Perestroika in action. It left me hurting in a left-arm and left-brain cramp.
The formats were all different and strange.
It hurts at this point.

And my recurring thoughts of death...
What's even scarier is that my recurring thoughts of death are not of my death, but of the deaths of people close to me, people important to me, in very real ways.
I won't list them here, they make me feel even worse than I do in the wake of today's perestroika. They'd make the people I imagine feel worse than that, I think.

I need sleep.
As in not a stay-up late and sleep-in for afternoon papers, not a sleep-early-to-wake-up-early, and definitely not a stay-up late and wake-up early. (I had one of the latter today. Even after washing my face with cold water I fell asleep.)
I want to lie in bed and do absolutely nothing, or perhaps read a bit of manga along the way, maybe of Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu or Lucky Star or Azumanga Daioh. Then I want to go downstairs and watch whatever catches my fancy.

2008-10-29T03:16:00.000-07:00

Modern World was thankfully easy.

Source-based was about Hitler just like Naomi said, but it was about..."family policies".

No Japan, but thank goodness Plan B worked.

I did Causes of WWII in Europe. 8D

Now to fear Southeast Asian History.

2008-10-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

I hear Neodammerung playing in my head now.

Do you know Neodammerung? It's the one in the Matrix Revolutions where Smith meets Neo and he says "Mister Anderson, welcome back. We've missed you." and Neo says "It ends tonight.".

It has a convenient climatic-sounding choir in the background that has a vocal capacity that is higher than mine on a good day, and that makes me jealous.

But that's beside the point.

I hear Neodammerung playing in my head because I know that in less than four hours I'm going to go to the school hall and take History, which is pretty much my most random subject, and the final grade could be anything from a B3 to a D7.

And it's kinda scary, because I really really really want Japan and the War in Asia-Pacific to come out because that's really what I'm best at, and I'm not too good at everything else. ><

Wish me luck.

2008-10-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

The days seem to move past me at blinding speed while I trudge by in slow motion.

It was especially scary today. I woke up, and minutes seemed to pass by in... a couple of seconds. I took my usual shower in the morning and ended up taking about half an hour.

All this speed seemed to come back, though, when I took my Maths and A Maths Paper 1s. I finished my papers. Nothing went wrong (aside from one conceptual error and a couple of sign errors in A Maths, and I'm not too sure for Maths because we don't get to bring the papers back).

I just hope I have enough speed for Paper 2 later for A Maths.

COMBINED SCIENCE (PAPER FIVE) - Screwed.

COMBINED SCIENCE (PAPER THREE) - Fairly easy. Might get an A.

ENGLISH (PAPER THREE) - I have no comment. If the invigilators didn't mind my talk about
Jane Goodall and Gertrude B. Elion, I should ace this.

ENGLISH (PAPER ONE) - Up lorry. Probably. My Section One was disgusting compared to that narrative I wrote about Alphonse and Sebastian.

ENGLISH (PAPER TWO) - I liked this. I think, god forbid, this'll be better than Paper One. Prophetically, I saw a cat run past the hall after the papers were collected.

ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS (PAPER ONE) - Shiny. Seven marks lost, two or three to conceptual errors, the rest were sign errors and other careless casualties.

COMBINED HUMANITIES (PAPER TWO) - Considering the only item on my agenda regarding this subject was to pass it, I think I shall get my wish. This isn't going in my L1R5 if I can help it.

ELEMENTARY MATHEMATICS (PAPER ONE) - We're not allowed to bring the questions home. But it went swimmingly.

projection tiem!

ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS (PAPER TWO) - I've really got to watch for this one. They'll probably try to differentiate the A-students from the B-students with this paper, considering the chicken feet that they gave us for the first paper. And it's got Plane Geometry, which is positively my worstest topic ever.

HISTORY (PAPER ONE) - It's Japan. And if it isn't Japan, ... I'll just go to Plan B. I need to work on the Cold War.

HISTORY (PAPER TWO) - Nationalism. That will be all. *sigh*

ELEMENTARY MATHEMATICS (PAPER TWO) - This will probably be hard as well. Damn trends.

COMBINED SCIENCE (PAPER FOUR) - I cannot predict this. T^T halloween...

2008-10-18T20:49:00.000-07:00

One week of silence.

I think it's a good thing.

For with him, all the world, here, is a stage. I feel it. The player in question is no longer someone I wish to meet with on a daily basis, for when he returns from the grand stage of life in the outside world, tired of his showy role and needing of quiet, he retreats to his dressing room. And as such, we, the five dressing room roommates (why does he have roommates) must be silent, and if we cannot do so, we must bask in his glory. For it is no moment that this play can stop. It is no moment that this play will stop. The director never shouts "cut", the scriptwriters never rest, the producers never think enough is enough, the cameras roll on and on, the audience watches on for ever and ever, a wrap party is nowhere in sight. And I am tired. So very very tired.
The perpetually low levels have found a new low. I need silence.
Thank you, Lord, for the silence.

2008-10-18T05:11:00.000-07:00

Nothing much's happened ever since last week, beyond practical.
It's really irritating how little time I have to regenerate.
I felt the full effects of my lack of regeneration today, when I could no longer work up a decent sweat warming up during fencing, and in its place, I felt... out of breath, more so than usual, but at least I didn't faint.
Only one match today, against Desiree. I won 5-1 with a new technique. (:

2008-10-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

*embraces nerdiciousness with great happiness*

another person

Results

Which Disney Villain Are You?

this was a while ago...

Media&Comm

testimonial.

ELDDS CRASH

Oh right, did I mention? I'm in Singapore now.

The pictures

Minifest and my Maths exam

iyaaaaan~ tag ><

The previous week. LONG POST BUT LOTS OF PICTARS.

lines and rust

sunday

never. put faith. in a fecking race. again.

As Long As You're Mine

incoherent post

so if you care to find me, look to the western sky

An Inconvenient Man (an intellectual post.)

No good deed goes unpunished

A prayer

Breaking Off (And Settling In) - The Goodbye (And The Hello)

Breaking Off - Last Moments

Breaking Off - The Last Obligations

Breaking Off - The Reality Of The End

11

hauuuuuuuuun~ (Breaking Off - The Realm Of Dreams)

Breaking Off -Talking About It

Breaking Off - Forgetting.

fencing

Breaking Off - The Beginning For Most

Breaking Off - The Beginning of the End

Breaking Off - The End of the Beginning

aiyoh sakinah you ask me do this for what?!

Breaking Off - The First Day

A tag.

ohnoes a generic teenage girl rant

Overacting

Epic.

Super duper uber psyched!

pwnage

progress (or lack thereof)

internship

These past few days - BAD

These couple days - GOOD

The post about the Cedar Musical that's actually about my clothes.

retardyay!

A Naruto rant.

The post with nothing but good news

quizzes.

youtube pluggggggggggg

the end of sensibility

an updateeeeeee